My son has autism. Change and newness are frightening to him, and he is especially nervous around unfamiliar people. When I introduce him to new people unexpectedly, instead of saying hi, he will often say, "I don't like you. Go away."

A few days ago, we got a visit from the landlady of the folks who are renting the house next door. I hadn't met her before; she was dropping by briefly to discuss a pest problem they were having that might affect our house too. From the moment I opened the door until she left, my son screamed, "Go away! I don't like you! I want you to leave! Mama, make her go away! Stop talking! I want her to leave! Go away! Augh! GO AWAY!" I know this poor woman was uncomfortable, and I was too. I wanted to put her at ease, but I couldn't easily explain to her why he was behaving this way. I simply ignored him, shut the door and went outside to finish the conversation. He's done the same thing to the mail carrier, delivery people and just about anyone else new who comes to the door.

We are working on this behavior with a lot of therapy and positive reinforcement, but I know it will take time to change. And when it does change, there's a good chance that some other odd behavior will take its place. Like when he used to insist on calling everyone new he met by a name he liked, regardless of what their actual name was. Or when he used to purposely reverse genders and say to women, "You're a man." Some people thought it was odd, but others were offended that he was refusing to call them by the correct name or gender.

I try to prepare him for any guests and our guests for his behavior du jour (and they are usually pleasantly surprised), but I can't prepare strangers who drop by our door or people we meet at the park or the grocery store. So, I get some nasty looks: looks that say, "You are a bad parent and your son is a bad child." Sometimes that hurts, but whenever I have some distance, it flat out makes me laugh, because I really am a damn good mother and my son is a wonderful kid. (I know the dirty look people wouldn't be able to do a tenth of what I do!) I also get some confused, or just uncomfortable looks, like the landlady who came to our door, and those pain me more, because I always wish I had a way to explain.

So, I was delighted when I heard recently about a mom who had some small cards printed up with information about autism on them to out in awkward situations. I'm thinking I'll print some up myself, so that my son can scream while I explain his screams without disturbing him by speaking a word.