This is part of the ProBlogger Group Writing Project. The theme is "Top 5."

1. Sex Addiction
I won't keep you in suspense: the number one reason people find me while searching for porn is because I blog about sex addiction in my marriage. Of course, the people who are searching for porn using the term "sex addiction" think (mistakenly) that sex addiction means being really horny all the time, which makes sex addiction sound enjoyable. It's not. But it's a good thing that folks searching for porn find me, because (guess what!) compulsive use of pornography is a type of sexual addiction. Hurray! You're a sex addict and I can help.

2. Interracial Sex
I admit it. I am a white woman who has had (and continues to have) hot sex with a black man. And I have pictures and videos to prove it: pictures and videos of our kids, the end product of that sex. Yes, we are married and have two kids, verifiably ours through DNA testing, so that proves we've had sex at least twice. And if you are here searching for porn, maybe you should have a doctor check out that fetish.

3. Rampant High School Lesbianism
(Please tell me I am not the only person who saw that Lewis Black bit on The Daily Show last year. I couldn't find it on "the You Tube" or I would post a link.)

So, here's another thing I will admit. I am a woman, and when I was in high school, I had a girlfriend. (Yes, a make-out-in-the-back-seat-of-a-car high school girlfriend, not a go-shopping-and-giggle-about-boys high school girlfriend.) I happen to have a romantic history that has hit all the big fetishes. If you are here looking for a voyeuristic thrill, you won't find it, but I really can get you help for those urges.

4. Wife Sex Addiction
People searching for "wife sex addiction" are a subset of those who mistakenly think sex addiction means being horny all the time. They come here thinking they will get my hot unfaithful wife stories about how I wear lingerie around all day and have sex on the floor with the UPS delivery guy. So, allow me to clear that up.

My husband is the sex addict; I'm his wife. I have two kids, one with autism, so I'm lucky if I shower every other day. I'm blogging (and doing laundry and dishes) fully clothed. Oh, and our UPS delivery person is a woman, and while she's attractive and that thought might even be more appealing to some you (especially in light of #4 above), I'm not interested in having sex with her. I'm too busy with the hot interracial sex with my husband. Besides, he's the only one who wants to have sex with me when I haven't showered in three days. Even I don't want to have sex with me then.

But if you actually are a wife searching for help dealing with sex addiction, I know places that can help you if you are the addict or if you are the partner of a sex addict.

5. Son's Friend + Sex + My Mother
Although I blog about my children, and particularly my son's autism, I don't get a lot of porn hits from the stuff I post about the kids. It turns out autism, unlike race and addiction, is not a big fetish item. Thank goodness! But I did have one person search for "son's friend + sex + my mother" and find a post I wrote about how 3 to 5-year-old boys think I'm pretty. And for the person who did that search, one last time, and I'm serious here: Do you need help?

[Note added May 11, 2007: Some folks have already found this post by searching for things like "interracial sex." I think this is what it would feel like to hang a "free beer" sign on the door of an AA meeting.]