When I first started blogging, I read about these things called "memes." They were something I was supposed to do to be part of the blogging community. Then I found out that one generally couldn't participate in a meme without being "tagged," that is, invited to participate by another blogger. I had to be part of the community to become part of the community? Ack! Well, I've finally been tagged. I want to weep. I'm a real blogger now. I belong!

Of course, I suspect this will be like those e-mails that say, "You're a special friend! Send this to 10 people you love to let them know they're special too!" The first time you get one, you think, "Yay! I have e-mail! I have friends who have e-mail! And my friend with e-mail thought of me and wanted to tell me I'm special!" Then the 800th time you get one, you think, "If I'm so special, why don't you write and tell me what's going on in your life instead of sending me another ASCII text picture of an angel that someone forwarded to you?!"

Still, right now I'm feeling special because The Junky's Wife (well, who did you expect?) has tagged me for the first time. I am supposed to give five reasons (five?!) why I blog and then tag five of you. I've watched enough episodes of Survivor to know how I want to run the tagging. I'll be tagging my most loyal commenters (and I actually do have five of those now, even excluding Junky's Wife, who tagged me, and Scout, who was also tagged). I am a nerd, so to ensure that tagging would be accurate and fair, I did go back and quantify your love for me by counting comments. (Yes, Junky's Wife, you definitely love me most.)

REASONS I BLOG:

1. To gain experience.
   I started this blog after I realized how desperately low we were on money and then spent a few days poking around on Craigslist looking for writing jobs. I thought it would be a way to gain some experience in blogging, while honing my essay-type writing skills. Of course, if you're going to put blogging on your résumé, it's incredibly stupid and essentially useless to start an anonymous blog about deeply personal and private aspects of your life, but my life is what I wanted to write about.

2. To write for an audience.
   It has always been my dream in life to be a published author, to write for an audience, to share my art. But I don't like the artist's life: selling yourself to agents, publishers and readers, sending out submission after submission, getting rejected and edited, having no steady source of income or health insurance. So, I write what I like to write for myself and don't submit it to anyone, and I get paid to write boring corporate documentation that has provided a steady, reliable income and insurance. Blogging seemed like an easy way to find an audience without editing or rejection. And I have to admit that I've been overwhelmed (and happily surprised) by having a such wonderful audience that writes back.
3. To win fame and fortune.
   I don't like submitting things, but I'm happy to be discovered. I WILL WRITE FOR CASH! And I'm codependent, so I'm cheap as hell. Discover me. Make me an offer. I will write and edit for you. It will be exceptionally good, because I am also a perfectionist. (Sorry, Junky's Wife, I still don't know what I would write about tattoos.)
4. To start a memoir.
   My husband and I have talked for a while about writing a joint memoir. At the very least, we wanted to be able to share our experiences with our children some day. He has done a lot of journaling in his step work and recovery, but in spite of having been a prolific journaler in the past, I have not been able to do much in recent years. Blogging has been a way to force myself to write each day, and to write in an electronic medium, one that is searchable and easy to cut and paste. If I can get all my good stories down here, it will be easier to weave them together in different forms one day.
5. To get myself unstuck.
   When I started this blog, I was feeling stuck and depressed. I was feeling negative about everything and was watching hours a day of crappy crime dramas (in lieu of sleeping), which are always signs that I'm depressed. I was feeling stuck in my recovery, stuck in dealing with my son's eating issues, stuck in trying to get the school district to help my son, stuck in debt, stuck in disorganization... Stuck. So, I've been writing myself out of my stuckness. And this is cheaper than the therapy that I can't afford, and can't bring myself to go to. (I need therapy for my trust issues so that I can go to therapy to work on my trust issues. I'm thinking about becoming a therapist so I can just talk to myself.)

And I am tagging:

• Shawn at Letters to My Daughters
• Jay at Two Women Blogging
• Jen at Stay-At-Home Motherdom
• Serizy at Diary of a [N]e[u]rotic Masseuse
• A Bishop's Wife at The Pentecostal Pariah

You all are under no obligation to play. It is a privilege just to tag you.