In my travels around the blogosphere (that is what the kids are calling it, isn't it?) I happened upon Stay-At-Home Motherdom, a wonderful blog by Jen, a stay-at-home mom and recovering alcoholic. Jen put out an offer to personalize some interview questions for anyone who was interested. I had such a good time reading her answers to the interview questions that were posed to her, that I thought I'd give it a try. And besides, it forced her to read my blog. (Yay! I got one more person to read my blog, and I didn't even lure her here with false promises of porn.)

However, since little old sleep deprived me is barely keeping up with, oh, I don't know, anything, I've decided to savor this interview and answer one question a day. Yes, after having gotten someone to read my blog, I'm now exploiting her kindness for several days worth of topics for posts. But seriously, if you knew how sleep deprived I am...

(1) Why did you choose to blog anonymously?

My life is more than a collection of my own individual experiences; in my story are bits and pieces of the stories of everyone whose life has ever touched mine. In order to tell my story, I need to share details of my husband's story, my children's stories, my parent's stories, my former lovers' stories, my dearest friends' stories. In making the decision to share my life, I am also making the decision to share theirs, whether they want that or not.

I need, deeply need, to do this writing, for reasons I don't entirely understand myself. Yet, as Step 9 ask addicts to make amends "except when to do so would injure them or others," I don't want to injure my family or others through my own need for an online therapy tool and a public audience for my writing. It's far more important to me to protect the privacy of my husband and my children than it is to protect my own.

The topics and situations I write about are all deeply personal, and are sometimes painful or shameful or potentially divisive: racial issues, my husband's sex addiction, my abortion, my religious beliefs, my son's autism. It's no accident that 12 Step programs are anonymous; in situations that are deeply painful, personal or shameful, anonymity provides a sense of safety from judgment. In anonymity, there is no fear of honesty: I can write without constraint.

Most of the people I'm closest to in my real, off-line life, are out there reading my blog, including many of the people I blog about. Some of them chime in in the comments (Jay, Tigermom!) and some lurk and e-mail me privately. Those folks know our real names and which celebrity my husband resembles. And they love and accept me (and everyone in else in my life) as is. Now I've added to that a wonderful mish-mash of total strangers dropping in and peering into my heart; some for just a moment, and some who find a connection and become new friends (Junky's Wife).

But in anonymity, my family and I are protected from the people in the nebulous middle: neighbors, family members, teachers, classmates and friends who aren't close enough to us to truly know and accept us, yet aren't distant enough from us not to care. There is plenty in our lives that would cause people who know us (and maybe even love us) to become frightened, hurt or angry and react in ways that are judgmental or negative. I want and need to share my experiences honestly, but I don't want or need my family to pay the price for that.

And now, a special sneak preview of tomorrow's question:
(2) What is your...
Ooo, sorry! I wouldn't want to spoil it!