We all know that I hate to fly, and with that in mind, I wrote the following post before I flew back to my high school reunion in July. I decided not to post it before the flight, because I didn't want to jinx myself. I thought I might post it on the other end, to let you all know I arrived safely, but then never had access to a computer. Then when I got back, the fears of the beginning of the trip seemed irrelevant. And for my next trip, I had plenty of other things to worry about. I'm posting it today, even though I don't plan to fly again anytime soon, because, well, I don't plan to fly again anytime soon, and it's already written, and I'm trying to free up some time to do some other writing today. Isn't that ironic? Or not...
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
'Well isn't this nice...'
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think"
~Alanis Morrissette, "Ironic"
I have been reminded of another reason to hate plane travel: for the past 36 hours straight, I have had Alanis Morrissette's "Ironic" stuck on a loop in my head. No other artist on my iPod has been able to dislodge this song yet. And I have realized that one of my great fears in life is that I will die thinking of this song.
I picture myself with the oxygen mask on, and as the plane is going down, I am screaming, unheard, "Damn you, Alanis Morrissette! You have no idea what irony is! Thanks to you, millions of children have grown up mistakenly believing, as you do, that irony is rain on one's wedding day or a black fly in one's Chardonnay or the good advice that one just didn't take. And none of those things are, in and of themselves, ironic!!" What is ironic is Alanis Morrissette's failure to take my good advice and write a follow-up song about sarcasm.
Fortunately, I have a few more glorious days before me, in which to rid myself of this song before it starts playing on an endless loop again...
For your edification: following are the lyrics to a song called "Ironic" that is all about things that are not actually ironic. Or was the title just meant to be ironic? Hmm...
"Ironic"
An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought...it figures
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought...it figures
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face
A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think
A little too ironic...and yeah I really do think...
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought...it figures
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out
it's better than having the spice girls song '2 become 1' stuck in your head.
I hate this song but it's there... right now ...playing in my head!
I keep having really good music stuck in my head, like that damn Ryan Adams song I posted at Cuntface, about some heroin addict who has some crazy ass ho in love with him...it's better music, but still infuriating.
Still glad you're not dead.
Ha Ha...I think of that song when I'm on flights, too
I think she wrote that verse for my dear bro-in-law who was killed just that way, Mr. Play It Safe he sure was, rest his sweet soul......
Ya, either she's really stupid or it's ironic that it's not about irony -- not really sure which. But she sure can write a good tune in her early days.
Peace,
Scout
Oh man, how you get in my head, MPJ! I yell at the radio (in my head) every time I hear that song. "That's not what ironic means, dammit!"
It's ironic that a)both our recent posts are about flying (oh wait, that's just coincidental!) and b)that bitch gets away with completely bastardizing the English language...I truly cannot stand her I must say!
I have had that conversation on a number of occasiong where "doesn't that suck" gets confused with irony. lol
You really know how to make me smile.
Married to My Ex
I love, love , love that song.