We lost Mark's dad today to lung cancer, just five weeks after we learned of the diagnosis. I don't believe in an afterlife. I don't know that he's in a better place now. I do know that he's no longer in pain: not in the physical pain that ended his life, nor in the mental and spiritual pain he lived his life with.
But I do believe in a kind of reincarnation, a version of karma: not a literal version, but a metaphoric one. I believe that we live on, in our beauty and our baseness, through our children. And we lead good lives not in the hope that we will reap the rewards, but that they will start off a little ahead, a little healthier, a little more spiritual, or in some cases just a little less neglected and abused than we were.
My father-in-law's sins may have been visited on his son; the son is, like the father was, an addict. But my husband reaped the rewards of his father's triumphs; my father-in-law's struggles, however misguided at times, to better himself have borne fruit in his son's wise mind, caring heart and dedication to recovery. My husband is a good man, who is becoming a better, more beautiful man every day, and that's the most meaningful tribute I think his father could ever have.
I am so sorry for you and your family. My thoughts are with you. I have lost a parent and it is hard. I wish I could offer more support. This is me hugging you!
Give Mark a big hug from all of us. That was a lovely sentiment in your post. I'm going to remember it, and I'll probably steal it, as I often do your best work.
Yes, you have grasped that beautifully. Now you have to be strong for Mark, 'cause it's a vulnerable time no matter how difficult things were for him and his father. Or even more because of that. I embrace you.
My condolences to Mark. It's hard to lose a father, no matter what.
Sorry to hear the sad news. Maybe you'll see a sign one day that he did come back...literally.
I'm very sorry. Your family is in my thoughts today, and the rest of this week. Big hugs to you. Take care of yourself, and your husband.
Beautiful way to describe your feelings. I'm so glad to have met you.
I'm sorry to hear about Mark's father. I hope that both of you are OK.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Take care of Mark, and we will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
I hope your husband (and you) get thru this rough time.
I posted a prayer for healing on my site for Mark and your family.
Sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my grandfather to lung cancer two years ago. I will say a prayer for your family and hope that your hearts will heal quickly.
I am so sorry MPJ. I send you and Mark big strong hugs.
I'm sorry. I hope that you both find some peace.
Beautiful post: honoring and honest both, which quite frankly most people can't seem to manage when people die.
Thinking of your husband and you today.