Now I know, Halloween isn't usually a holiday one associates with miracles. But maybe it's the holiday on which miracles happen for heathens like me, or maybe it's just that miracles can happen at any time on any day, without any special occasions at all. I suppose sometimes miracles just happen. A miracle happened at our house today; it arrived candy coated and was completely delicious.
It is a well known fact that my son has extreme difficulties eating; a fact that has even been published in the San Diego Reader and trumpeted to the world. But to fully appreciate the nature of this miracle, you must understand very clearly the extent of this problem. He eats just three things (four if you include milk) and each of these must be served in a very specific manner or he will not eat at all. He will, literally, run screaming in terror from the room, as if unfamiliar foods were poison and his life were in danger of ending, rather than being sustained by them. When his sister wants to tease him, she chases him around the house waving cookies at him and saying, "Brother, you want to try it? You want to take a bite?" And he runs away, shrieking in horror, from cookies.
He eats spaghetti: plain spaghetti, no butter, no sauce.* He will not any other kind of pasta: not angel hair or macaroni or linguine or penne or fettucine. And if he sees the spaghetti box, it must be a Ronzoni box. If I make pasta that comes from another box, he will not eat it. The spaghetti must be chopped into 1 inch pieces and eaten with a silver-colored metal spoon; forks will not be tolerated. The spoon may not be plastic or be any color other than silver; gold is not acceptable, nor are silver-colored spoons with an alternate colored handle. The pasta must be eaten off of one of the blue and yellow china plates my husband and I received as wedding gifts. We only have a few of these plates left, as we have lost several just through routine use and several more to travel accidents (if we eat anyplace away from home we must bring these plates or our son does not eat).
He also eats yogurt: strawberry Yoplait original yogurt, to be precise. The yogurt must be eaten with a clear plastic spoon; a plastic spoon of another color or any normal piece of metal flatware will not do. A different flavor, such as strawberry banana, is not acceptable. A different brand, such as Dannon, will not be eaten. A different variation on the texture or packaging, such as Thick & Creamy, will not be eaten. And if Yoplait (or Ronzoni) change their packaging (oh, please, please no!), if they do something crazy like change from a red swirly background to a solid red background, my son will no longer eat it.
Finally, he eats almond butter, Whole Foods 365 brand only, if you please; no bread or jam, of course. And, well, you get the idea by now... Almond butter is the most recent addition to his diet; it took a year of occupational therapy (OT) to get him to eat it. He rounds this all out with milk, which he drinks from the same Playtex sippy cup he has used since he was one. Needless to say, he will not drink juice.
Adding a new food is a very slow process that involves various behavioral incentives (or bribes, as we call them at our house) and games that allow my son to gradually get used to all aspects of the new food (smell, appearance, feeling) before finally moving to actually touching it to his mouth and finally tasting it. Think about those folks on Survivor who have to eat bugs; they have to be really motivated to do it, and even then some folks still can't get the critters down. But if you dangle a million dollars in front of the most nauseated of them and make them eat bugs every day for a year, eventually they may come to like, or at least tolerate, those exotic little delicacies.
Tonight he told us, having apparently heard it from his friends at school and his sister and the world at large, "I like candy. Candy tastes good." This from one of the only seven-year-olds in the entire United States who has no idea what candy tastes like. Never, ever one to miss an opportunity to press a perceived advantage in the food wars, I said, "Do you want to try some? Here," I picked up an Almond Joy, "This has almonds in it, just like your almond butter." I broke a piece off so that he could see a bit of brown almond sticking out, looking not at all like almond butter. (Damn! This was never going to work.)
But he didn't scream, he didn't run away, he let me hold that candy bar right up in his face. I didn't bribe him, he didn't wince, he stood there and looked at it. And then, very tentatively, he reached his head forward and scraped at it with his teeth. And infinitesimal bit of chocolate and coconut entered his mouth. He's never tasted either, in his life. In fact, he's never done anything but run screaming from both. Then he did it again and again and again and again. Each time, a tiny speck of something new entered his mouth. He didn't cry. He didn't shudder. He didn't vomit. He tasted and swallowed each little bit. Then he said he was done and beaming up at me said, "I finally tried something new!" My husband gave him a high five, and said, "Great job, buddy. And I got down on my knees, hugged him and burst into tears.
ohmygod, that end bit brought a tear to my eyes. i so felt your relief and amazement at his progress.
great post!
I can only imagine the dread you feel concerning those company's marketing departments... they probably do not even realize what changing something simple like packaging would do to your son.
It does remind me of ferrets, who will only really eat what they have been given as a kit. If they haven't tried meat then, chances are that it will be a pain to get them started on that later. My oldest one will not eat mice, no matter what... and I have tried everything, from adding oil to the outside to adding Ferretone to the inside. No dice.
But I am glad that miracles happen in your house.
Congratulations!!!! Good for your boy!!! This small miracle may have opened a new chapter in your life. He might start eating all kinds of wonderful things!
My #1 just in the last couple of years (he is 15) started trying new things. He went to summer camps where you eat what they have or starve and he was hungry so he ate. There is a light at the end of the tunnel... And you can see it.
Ohh, I am crying. What a brave, strong boy, and what a moment for all of you.
Aw, congrats! Yay! for candy.
Funny food story here: I have one particular child who won't even look at certain foods. She assumes it will not be to her liking and if I try to even give her a taste she throws a tantrum and swings at said item or utensil and it flings everywhere.
Last night, said item was mashed sweet potatoes loaded with brown sugar. Her sister has singlehandedly eaten two full bowls. Liana, however, wanted nothing to do with them (she only eats veggies, fruits and meat) two nights in a row. But, I did put a dollop on her plate, and encouraged her to stick her finger in them. She did, and reluctantly put that finger to her lips with the funniest face of hatred and dislike I've ever seen. Then, like a wave, her face changed very.slowly. and. suddenly. she was smiling. Next thing I know, she ate the entire dollop with her fingers. Refused to use a fork ... but it was a small victory for Mama!
Definitely had tears in my eyes by the end of your post.
Congratulations, that is such fantastic news!
I can so relate!
How wonderful!
I am in tears here! What a wonderful feeling that must have been for everyone.
At first I thought, "Oh no! He is going to develop a taste for candy now." But then I realized the miracle was that he tried something new.
The unwillingness to try something new is an affliction many adults who have no diagnosed symptoms of autism have—me included. It's not only a miracle, it's an inspiration.
Mama says...
Oh, MPJ, YAY!!!!!!!!
That is so wonderful. What a wonderful moment for your son and even more for YOU!!! I know how long that particular road has been for you.
megan says...
Yay! Beautiful, wonderful news. He is a strong, brave boy!
What a great moment to be able to share with your son! A personal achievement for him, a blessing for you - what a great miracle. Thanks for sharing that.
you made me cry! i'm so happy for you...and him. i must say, though, very good taste in candy bars! i've already eaten a ton of almond joys, from last nights festivities!
good for you! awesome for him!
Wow! That was a very moving piece of writing....You write so well that I feel that I know you and your family intimately.
Happy happy Joy Joy!
I was hanging on every word. such superb writing. And what a moment, the kind where the whole world cracks open and joy comes inside.
Hooray for proud tears. You and JW both!
absolutely beautiful, you lovely heathen you.
I am happy for your son and you- candy is so very much fun
I made my M read this with me and he read ahead of me and said "he tried something new!"
We are so happy for you! Ronzoni and Yoplait should send you some free stuff!
I don't read you for two days and look what I missed!
All I can say is wait until he tries a Mounds bar; they seriously rock.
Big hugs.
Congratulations to you all! What an exciting post!
I have an Autistic son as well and can really relate to the concern over food issues. He self-limited to bread, cereal and yogurt before I put him on a GF/CF diet. It wasn't easy but I've seen amazing results. We celebrate every newly-introduced (and tolerated) food like it's a National holiday around here.
I wish you continued success with it!
The Hurting Heart
I guess this proves that he's maturing a bit. I was like that with food as well. I mean, not to the degree that he is (or my brother), but pretty bad. At one point, I was living off of hamburger patties, baked potatoes and corn. And strangely enough, I ate artichokes.
It wasn't until my mother tried just steaming green beans sans butter that I started eating something green. We realized that it was the seasoning that was putting me off of it. I like the flavor of just the vegetable.
I'm like that with coffee too. For years people tried to get me drink coffee; suggesting things like, "here, put some cream or sugar or ice cream" or whatever in it. Yuck. My first semester in grad school then, I ventured out to try some that the library was serving during exam week. I just drank it black and liked it fine. It's the original taste that I like.
Tell me, do you sneak vitamins into his milk sometimes?
lastcrazyhorn, to belatedly answer your question: yes, I do sneak vitamins into his food. I had to start with just mixing in a little and gradually building up to the point where I can now mix in a whole (mashed up) multi-vitamin.
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