My daughter recently received a Disney princess book as a gift from my friend Kelly, and it is her absolute favorite book in the world right now. Now I know that as a feminist, I should be offended at the Disney princesses. And as an ultra-liberal with a deep discomfort with and distrust in the capitalist system, I should despise the Disney princesses. And as the antithesis of a girly girl, as woman who owns just three pairs of shoes and never wears makeup, blow dries her hair or shaves except on special occasions, I should disdain the Disney princesses. But I'll tell you a secret. I love Disney movies. I love Disney theme parks. I love the music and the magic and the fantasy, and yes, I love the princesses. Sh, don't tell!
I even have favorite Disney princess, the one to whom I most relate: Belle of Beauty and the Beast. Belle, the one walking around with her nose in a book, dreaming of a different life, falling in love with a man (or rather, beast) for his library: that's me. In my pre-kid days, I used to commute to work by public transit, and I would read door to door, reading as I walked. Somehow I avoided any major accidents, or maybe they avoided me; I was too busy reading to notice. And I have been known to fall for a man for his library, although I can't say I recommend it.
But I relate to more than just Belle's bookishness. As I have been reading this Disney princess book aloud to my daughter over and over, it has occurred to me that Belle's story is one I used to believe in and wish for. I didn't dream of marrying a dashing, handsome prince; nope, I always dreamed of marrying a lonely, solitary, isolated man who would be transformed by my love.
The beast physically assaults and imprisons Belle's elderly father and verbally abuses and imprisons Belle. But simply by loving and being loved, he's cured, healed, fixed! No more anger management problems, just gentle loving kindness. He loves her, she loves him, and he literally and instantaneously transforms from a monster to a man. Her love is the magic ticket to the happily ever after. It's just what every codependent wants and believes is possible. And just like all fairy tales, it's a fantasy. Now to explain that to my daughter...
um...?
http://motherofshrek.blogspot.com/2007/10/google-your-name.html
This may help?!!
Oy, do I see that differently.
I've never seen the Disney movie, in part because I can't get myself past the original story, in which the Beast rapes the Beauty and she falls in love with him. So this is the one Disney princess we banned from the house - even though I've been told before that she's the bookworm and I should, by rights, think she's a wonderful role model.
I know, I know, I'm humorless and no fun at all and I'm denying my daughter the best part of contemporary childhood. Can't help it. Can't get past it.
You know, Beauty and the Beast is one of the few fairy tales that I have never heard the original version of, so I don't have that baggage.
At first, I had problems with The Little Mermaid because the happy ending differs so much from the original, but the soundtrack is so great, it's hard for me to hate. For the most part, I see the Disney versions as their own entities now.
The one exception that still drives me crazy is Peter Pan, where the lovely Tink sacrifice of drinking poison is turned into a bomb slapstick scene, as I recall... But I have a special attachment to that story, and have never yet been satisfied with any interpretation I've ever seen.
Wow, I am really surprised and pleasantly amused to hear you're a Disney fan! (Personally I hate it, not taking a stand, just can't stand the sugariness!)
True, it's a codependent (nightmare) fantasy... but there's also a moral in it, isn't there? Sometimes people (especially children) behave badly because they are unhappy, so they need less punishment and more love.
Disney movies are one of my guilty pleasures too. I'm very aware of all the crap amongst the sugary sweetness, but I still enjoy them. Although, Alice in Wonderland is my favourite and she's not exactly a princess. So perhaps I can be redeemed
While not a huge Disney fan (the boobs on the princess continue to go up a cup size every movie), I do have a devotion to classic fairy tales, no different really then mythology. On the surface little stories perhaps with a moral lesson, but underneath rich with symbol.
The original Beauty and the Beast for example, mirrors the myth of Persephone abducted into the underworld by Hades.
I found your co-dependent take on it all very interesting and thoughtful. Maybe that's what I like best about fairy tales. We get to interpret and re-interpret them again and again, finding nuances of meaning, a way to see our own story.
Damn, Pussy G. Real talk.
Disney princess bringing out the beast here...
Sorry, Pussy G -- I rethought things and deleted your comment. Thought it could be inadvertently hurtful. I know. I'm tweakin'. I'll chat with you later.
Fairy Tales in general seem a horrifying bunch of stories to me—especially the Grimm ones. I mean come on—a witch who bakes kids? What could be scarier? One thing about Disney that one would not necessarily see in their product is that behind the scenes are some very smart, very powerful, very creative women who, for me, define feminism via the practical application of forging new ground for woman—especially in the theme park businesses. And then there's Barbie, an impossible ideal for the female gender who was brought to market by a pioneering business person who just happened to be a woman. I guess my point is there is always more to the story then what's on the page. Also that the idea that love conquers all is a complex conversation to have. Even love has a practical aspect to understand—or so I have heard.
Do these things seem significant to me only because I am male? I wonder. Thanks for getting me to think about something other than myself, though—it's been a while.
I like Disney, too, even though I think they are a bit sexist. It's so hard not to get caught up in the "magic". (or is it the marketing?)
Beauty and the Beast is my favorite, too. I dragged my boyfriend to see it when it came out in 1991. But I don't admit that to many:)
Oh the hardest part: she has to learn it for herself!
Damn. I missed Pussy G's comment. I want to know what she saiiiiiddddd!
It was a long time ago that I read either "Beauty or the Beast" or "The Little Mermaid" but, even as a little child, there was always something very disturbing about these two fairytales. I remember being particularly upset about the part when The Little Mermaid goes through so much pain, and leaves all her nearest and dearest behind, just so she can have two legs and can be with her prince. Even then I think I thought "Was he worth it?!"
I don't think I realized that the Beast raped Beauty (I was too young to pick up that was what was happening) but, again, I always felt there was something very sinister about that story.
I do wonder what I will do if I have kids of my own. There's a part of me that doesn't want to deprive of knowing about these literary classics first-hand but, then there's this other part which recognizes that little girl pick up negative messages from fairytales about how a "proper" woman behaves. Hmmmm.
The other codie flick I hate to love is Grease. The message is you gotta change if you want your man to love you. But I can't help loving the movie, anyway.
Damn. i never thought of that.
I love Grease but I love it for Rizzo.
I just don't know what to think, accept that sometimes I think we think too much. Not that I think we should reamain ignorant...
All this talk just brings Women Who Run with Wolves to mind-
and I hate that book.
[...] same ways I had myself. As I came to better understand my own love of Peter Pan and the fantasy of Disney and my own desire to escape into some fantasy childhood, I suspected I better understood his too. [...]