Seems I just can't help but do a post like this every once in a while, if for no other reason than to get my head on straight and voice my priorities to myself. So, here I go, rummaging through my mind, trying to put things in neat order for the journey forward. I'm thinking about...
The Past
When I started this blog, I intended it to be more along the lines of memoir than a journal of the present. While I'm enjoying where it's ended up, I'm feeling moved to do more reflection and storytelling. I think next week I am going to try to start a series of posts about the time leading up to my discovery of my husband's addiction. Maybe it will finally (five years later) help get me past Step 1b (admitting my life had become unmanageable). If nothing else, it will reaffirm Step 1a (admitting powerlessness over my husband's addiction).
Responding to Comments
I have heard it's good form to respond (or try to respond) to every comment. I don't. I don't make any attempt to. I respond more often to those of you who have e-mail addresses associated with your comments, and I have built some really wonderful relationships that way. If there is no e-mail address, I generally respond in the comment section of my blog only if I feel my response would be of general interest. I do read and appreciate all of your comments, but it takes me (perfectionist that I am) quite a long time to write even a one line response, and I don't feel (given that many/most of the responses in the comment section will never be read) that responding to everyone is the best use of my limited blogging time.
Moderating Comments
I read somewhere that one should post a comment policy, so this is mine:
I moderate all of my comments primarily because it ensures that I read them all. I rarely reject any comments, but I have (and will) if comments are:
- Spammy and off-topic. (e.g. "You may enjoy this money making site" on a post about autism.) These have come strictly from people I don't know, so don't any of you regulars fret your little heads over it.
- Intended to hurt or mock another commenter or reader, or could be perceived this way. I think I've only done this once or twice.
However, in addition to posting sweet comments about how much you all love each other and me, I have posted and will post comments that:
- Disagree with me. (Including pro-Obama comments!)
- Disagree (in a well-intentioned way) with other readers or commenters.
- Are hurtful to me or others in my life (although I'd probably reject comments that might be hurtful to my kids).
Awards and Memes
I have a backlog of awards to acknowledge. I am going to try to plow through them this weekend, because I do appreciate you all thinking of me and I feel terribly rude and remiss in not accepting those good thoughts in a timely and gracious manner. However, (drat, I don't know how to say this without seeming rude and ungrateful, but so be it) I will not be accepting any more in the future. It takes quite a bit of time to create the acceptance posts and I find I would really rather spend that time writing.
However, I do still like being tagged for memes, as long as they are not anything that would compromise my anonymity. (I saw a very cute one with photos recently, where one could google things like one's name or home town, but I didn't want to blow my anonymity out of the water with that.) I tend to save memes for days when I'm having a hard time thinking of something to write about, so I don't always post them in a timely fashion.
In case you missed the "bitches get stuff done" reference because you didn't watch the video at the end of my earlier post:
I can't get enough of that video!
Congratulations on taking really good care of yourself today!
I suppose it’s good to clear the air now and again like this (administratively speaking) … and perhaps I’d be wise to follow your example in such things. Having read your post (and typed this so far) I just want you to know that whatever you do (or don’t do) is fine with me! I love ya just the way you are!!! Keeping up with everything is hard enough without having to explain oneself …(I’m behind about 6 or 7 posts here but fully intend to catch up whenever possible). I enjoy when you visit … understand when you don’t. It’s all good (even though you do prefer Coke to Pepsi)!
Hugs and blessings,
I think you said all that really well!
Ooh, yes, the whole responding to comments thing stresses me out completely. I'm always so grateful and pleased when someone leaves a comment (and I do read every single one) but, quite frankly, I just don't have the time to respond to them all.
On the other hand, though, sometimes I do get a bit upset when I consistently post comments on someone's blog and then they don't respond. It's completely irrational, as, like me, they're probably just busy, but the codependent in me always thinks "Waaaaah, why don't they like me? Waaaah!". And, shamefully, I also have to admit that the blogs I mainly read the most belong to people who take time to respond to my comments and leave comments on mine. How terribly egotistical of me!
I also read my comments by e-mail and really get frustrated when I can't just e-mail the person back ... I do not like responding in the comments only because I never return to read comments after I've left one. OK -- rarely do I do that.
I think it should be standard practice by Blogger that we get each commenters email with our messages. I can't quite figure out why that is not the case when it's always required.
Anyway ... babbling here to just confirm with you that comments through email are essential to Bitches Getting Things Done. It's the only way I can respond.
Well said. I am not one for responding to comments because like yourself I rarely have the time. Though I truly appreciate all that are left on my site because most often they are very insightful.
Bitches rock.
I don't need replies. Just keep writing.
Good for you for working out what works for you in your life and clearly expressing it! We should all do the same.
Annie
xxx
YaY! for stories. I look forward to that. and...(happy Hilary to you)
Damn, i am bad blogger.... i totally never respond back.
As for how your blog has progressed.... it's like how i do art. You start off with one idea and it becomes a new greater thing than the original. Like my TKD definition of Truth- it is living and always changing. It has no form, no resting place, no organized institution and no philosophy. when you understand this, you will realize this is what you are......
Deep eh?
I rarely reply to a comment on my blog. I don't use blogger, so it's not easy at all for me to do that. Instead, I try to visit that person's blog and leave comments on their writing. So, what I'm saying is, no worries...I don't need you to reply.
Maybe I shouldn't admit this, but I've been given two awards that I have not shared with others. When I received the first one, I was so new to blogging that I didn't know the etiquette. Now I know, but I'm sitting on them. I don't know...when and if I share them, I really want to be moved to do so. I love all the blogs I read (or I wouldn't read them). I cannot chose which one deserves an award over another.
Some weeks I am good about replying to comments...other times I am not so good. Some days I am all about reading blogs...other days I can't even seem to read my mail.It's all good...even the awards thing...some days I am good with it...some days it gets just too overwhelming. You are a talented, intuitive woman...keep moving forward...not sure how that can improve your writing skills...I already think you are awesome
I love this crazy, non-sensical, repartee that happens on blogs. I don't comment on comments either (unless they make me mad, which is rare) but still I think a conversation has occurred, albeit sometimes short and sometimes one-sided.