I also had never heard that addicts' emotional development ceases when they begin the addiction. My husband sometimes acts like a 9 year old, which now makes complete sense considering that he was sexually abused at that age. I've often felt really uncomfortable when he uses a sort of baby talk when he wants to be nurtured or when it seems easier for him to be playful (tickling, wrestling) rather than sexual. Of course when I first met him, he just seemed refreshingly in touch with his inner child but as our relationship has progressed, it's become more and more unsettling.

I started thinking about this when some of the other women in the JW Club mentioned how childish some of their addicts would sometimes act, and I began to wonder if this chilishness had something to do with the addiction. This post really helped bring together and solidify all my random thoughts. Thank you!

I was surprised in rereading the book both how clearly I saw Peter's selfishness and self-centeredness this time and how much it didn't matter, because I still found him entrancing. After five years of recovery work, I still want to put a cooling hand on the burning forehead, even though I now know, like never before, how badly I will be burned.

But really, I wonder why we don't despise them? When Peter Pan cries over Tinker Bell, he really cries for himself, but when she is gone he can't make her come back so he simply forgets her. "She" was never really seen by him, never cared for by him. His loss is the loss of someone to look after him, to protect him from the harm that he himself invites. So why don't Wendy and Tinkerbell despise him for it? Why don't they turn up their noses, resist his charm, and tell him to sod off as they've got better things to do, and better people to spend their time with?

When I have laid my cool hands on those burning foreheads, it did nothing to actually calm the storms. I only ended up with burned palms, wounds that I had to heal by myself.

Who takes care of Wendy? Who takes care of Tinkerbell? Not Peter. Wendy must leave him though, and Tinkerbell, well, she dies.

Still. Who doesn't love the rascal for his wounds, his charms, and his intoxicating love of life and his irreverent chasing of pleasure? Who doesn't wish that they could be the one to soothe him and tame him, help him to become the man, take him as a companion?

You're talking about Hook, a movie (like most Peter Pan movies) that I flat out despised. The movie is based on the premise of Peter leaving Neverland and growing up -- something he can't do -- that's the point (and tragedy) of the original story.

I'm realizing now that something new bugs me about it -- the codie myth that love can change people. Peter left Neverland in Hook because he finally loved someone enough to change -- and I don't believe in "if you really loved me you'd just..."

Maybe I should write about Hook, but that would mean having to watch it again and I don't think I can.

I like the story of Peter Pan, but I much prefer the disney version with Robin Williams where he has to find a balance between the seriousness of adulthood and the joy of childhood.