Comments on: Silda Spitzer’s Message

By: Charlie

Charlie — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 02:14:00 +0000

Came over here from Guilty Secret.

This post really struck a cord with me. Thanks for making me feel more normal today. I appreciate it more than you know.

By: Slutty McWhore

Slutty McWhore — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 16:38:00 +0000

Like you, I also didn't understand why Hillary stood by Bill when the shit hit the fan. I was very judgemental of her decision and also said "Oh, I would NEVER do that! Not me! Oh, no!". I was only 21 at the time, so I don't know how I felt in a position to judge other people's relationships...And then, of course, I went on to have a very abusive relationship of my own a couple of years later when I didn't leave when I should have. Ha!

I do support a woman's decision to "stand by her man" (as long as that decision arises out of genuine love, and a desire to repair the damage done - and not just neediness and despair). However, I don't really understand why Silda had to stand on that little platform with Spitzer, giving him moral support.

Did she really want to do that? Was it really necessary? Why couldn't she just have stayed at home that day, quietly tending to her own wounds? I can't help but feel that politics requires these women to be the sacrificial lambs on their husbands' fucked-up altars.

If I was in Silda's position, I could probably imagine sticking by my man (maybe, maybe, maybe) but I just find it hard to believe that any woman would want to provide such a public display of support.

By: thejunkyswife

thejunkyswife — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 02:20:00 +0000

I like your festering arm metaphor. That was fun.

By: ~e~

~e~ — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 21:09:00 +0000

As always, you've taught me more about forgiveness, which is a true gift to me (having never known how or what it even means in my past)

By: Karen

Karen — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 20:51:00 +0000

Worth waiting for, MPJ. If only this could be the benediction.

By: Mary P Jones (MPJ)

Mary P Jones (MPJ) — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 17:57:00 +0000

Several folks (Vicarious and Mantra on this blog and blue milk on Two Women Blogging) have commented that they wonder whether Silda Spitzer did do what she needed to do or if she did what she thought she was supposed to do. I truly believe that, either way, she did what she needed to do, but more on that today or tomorrow.

No wonder the media beat the Spitzer to death -- this situation is a source of almost unlimited inspiration.

By: Mantramine

Mantramine — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 16:06:00 +0000

Oh, but then I also agree with Vicarious

By: Mantramine

Mantramine — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 16:04:00 +0000

Oh. Myfucking. G'd.

I'm still tearing up. That was written with such beautiful and acute passion and intelligence.

I bow to you, m'lady....

By: Wayward Son

Wayward Son — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 15:21:00 +0000

I read somewhere a long time ago that Hillary ultimately followed her faith (maybe religion, maybe not) and that that it was that tat lead her to forgive her husband (yet one more time) and save her marriage and to what she had to do to keep her family in tact. What I read was a some friend of Hillary's supposition of what she was going through and how on a personal level she chose the path she chose.

While my faith may tell me I would remove myself from that situation if it were mine, hers did not. And I leaned something about faith from that understanding. I learned that faith is always an individual's personal guide that should not have to bow to another's judgement (if that faith was not directly putting another in peril—think jihad). I learned that my ability to use my faith, such as it is, as a guide to do what is best for me is directly connected to my allowing others to lean on their own personal faith without judgment. And it is HARD not to judge the actions, choices and lives of others. For when another acts in a way I would not, it often serves to make me feel as if my actions are wrong. And I know better.

Perhaps your post was not about the age old adage "Judge not lest ye be judged" (Matthew 7:1 thank you very much) but that's where it took me. As much as i believe that to be an extremely enlightened perspective, I never seem to be without a pocket full of stones at any given time and a propensity to throw them whenever I feel my own actions have been called into question. Thanks for bringing that to my attention even if inadvertently.

WS

By: bella

bella — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 14:45:00 +0000

Another home run with this one!
You speak with the voice of one who has been there, doubting and knowing in some small part of herself that things were not as they seemed, in pain, coming to terms with the truth of herself and her marriage, and compassion and acceptance, knowing were you stand and owning your truth.
What a beautiful story you have woven here.