Comments on: Splinters in my Mind

By: Guilty Secret

Guilty Secret — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:51:00 +0000

Just catching up now. Thank you for letting us in on your world.

By: Ingrid

Ingrid — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 22:32:00 +0000

I have to say that since I started reading your blog, I have learned a lot about sexual addiction, and changed my attitude towards it. I am grateful to you for that.

When Spitzer's "Client 9 affair" was announced this week, when I saw his wife standing by him at the press conference, I thought of you. And I found myself feeling compassion more than outrage.

By: Mary P Jones (MPJ)

Mary P Jones (MPJ) — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 16:51:00 +0000

Several of you have commented that this can't be easy to write; surprisingly (or not), it hasn't been nearly as hard as some of the other things I've blogged about.

It was hard to live it and hard to come to terms with it -- I'm more ashamed of my behavior around this time than of anything else in my life and it's always hard to put your embarrassing moments on display -- but the bulk of the hard work was mostly done before I started writing. I've hashed this particular chain of events (and the associated thoughts and feelings) through so many times in the past 5 years that writing this feels more like a welcome resolution than anything else.

I'm so grateful to you all for being here to listen and for caring as I bring this around for myself.

By: FI0NA

FI0NA — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:54:00 +0000

Fascinating to see the story unfold, so much like mine, but also I have a lot to learn from it

By: Shawn

Shawn — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 02:03:00 +0000

Well, then ... what kind of a wife are you if you can't dress up and role play each day??? I mean, seriously, it is no wonder any woman can keep a man if she's not willing to satisfy his every need.

Or, isn't it something like this that Dr. Laura said on the Today show this week?

Don't even get me started ...

By: Moanna

Moanna — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 00:43:00 +0000

Reading where he's just watching you as you struggle for the thread...that part gets to me the most. It reminds me of a moment in my life and so my heart goes out to you. Although you are no longer in that moment, like Bella, I'm thinking writing this can't be easy. Thank you for writing it.

Take care.
xo

By: woman.anonymous7

woman.anonymous7 — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 23:57:00 +0000

"Marriage was easy: all one had to do was pick the right partner and happiness rained down like gumdrops." Such a beautiful description, and exactly my experience for 20 years.

I know now that Husband had a very different experience, and was deeply unhappy in ways that perhaps neither of us could readily identify for at least some of those years. And he tried to talk about it, but he wasn't well equipped to do so and I, with my absolutist view of the world, was not well equipped to hear him. So I never had this splinter...this inkling that something was going on. Or maybe I'm still in denial. I'm not quite sure.

By: Ingrid

Ingrid — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 18:42:00 +0000

I am following your life story with great interest. You are always such a wise person and compelling writer. How does it feel to be writing it? I agree with Bella that it can't be easy to write.

By: bella

bella — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 17:02:00 +0000

This can't be easy to write.
Freeing perhaps, but I imagine still difficult.
Your sharp truth is met with such genuine compassion. For him, for yourself.
This is what I find most amazing.

By: thejunkyswife

thejunkyswife — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 13:45:00 +0000

I'm feeling proud feelings now for you because you did something hard when you wrote that stuff.

I like the name "Candi," too, by the way.