Earlier today, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer admitted his involvement with a prostitution ring, another possible sex addict hit bottom and Silda Spitzer became my newest celebrity BFF.
Even as I tell my story (which starts here) about how I came to realize my husband was an addict and how he came to enter recovery, the Spitzers' story, different and the same, is spinning out before a much larger, and less loving, audience than mine. My heart is with them. And in my dream world, the Clintons are helping them find some good 12 Step meetings in New York.
Now in case you've forgotten in the past week, I'll take this opportunity to remind you just what this illustrates: everybody lies and politicians perhaps most of all. So, Obama, McCain, I'm still looking at you both. Take heed, because it's just a matter of time before your deepest secrets and lies come to light, boys.
I'm thinking of the AA meetings in the basement of the White House on West Wing, with Leo McGarry and the VP both attending.
I think to be a politician - a successful one, anyone - you have to be able to believe what you say, and addicts can really believe everything they say. That was Bill Clinton's gift as a campaigner - he meant everything so sincerely, even when it directly contradicted what he'd said before. Plus there's that need for more love, more adulation, more more more that I think enables (!) people to withstand the rigors of public life. So addicts are uniquely suited to American politics, right?
Well to Jay's comment I would add that you don't need to be an addict to believe everything you say is true even when all evidence points to the contrary--but that's another problem entirely.
I'm just wondering, in a real, sincere way, how do you know the difference between an addict--who I'd see as a good person caught in a problem--and an abuser? Not that I think Spitzer is the latter. In fact, maybe addicts can be good and can be bad but they're still addicts. I don't know. But some men are predators and some are not...I feel I've known both. What is the difference to you?
Jay, you did that thing again where you said what I should have/want to say -- and did it better than I would have!
Marta, I think your question is going to require its own post -- maybe next week, after I finish my current series.
I had that same thought about the Clintons!
And I can't wait to see your post in reply to Marta. I agree - it deserves its own post.
I read the New York Times front page article about this today, and I have to say that it really disturbed me that some of the prostitutes Spitzer had been with said that he had been "difficult" and wanted to force them into unsafe practices.
Being a sex worker, I come across my fair share of sex addicts (some more obvious than others) but I have to say that very few of them were ever "difficult" or treated me disrespectfully.
Therefore, to answer Marta's question, I think that Spitzer is an addict, AND an abusive asshole.
Hey MPJ, when this came on the news, I immediately thought of you and Hillary.
Also, in the media, I'm seeing discussion of wives who stay after being betrayed but not discussion of Spitzer as being a sex addict, as such. So am thinking it's too bad you don't have a book ready to hit the shelves. But you might start writing it. There's always a next time.
Moanna, so funny -- I was listening to NPR yesterday thinking I so desperately wanted to be their guest commentator on Spitzer! I'm finding that Spitzer's seemingly contradictory actions make sense to me in an addiction framework. (Been there in Crazyland!)
I'm terribly busy right now (and have a lingering cold -- drat!) and want to finish my current story arc -- but I've really been wanting to write about it in more detail. Sadly, the thought that there will be plenty of next times, so I don't have to jump on this right now, is helping me to let go and put off the writing in the way I need to to take care of me right now.
I knew you'd have the goods on this one.
Hi - I just found your blog and I was touched by your thoughts on the Spitzer scandal.
I wouldn't wish being an addict or co-addict on my worst enemy, but I doubly wouldn't wish fame on any addict. Treatment and paparazzi are mutually exclusive.
thegentlepath, welcome! I agree that fame and fortune do make recovery so much harder. And unfortunately, I believe that addicts are more likely to be drawn to (and successful in -- for a time) the types of careers that lead to fame and fortune.