Comments on: Why I Stopped Hanging Out with Porn http://aroomofmamasown.com/2008/05/why-i-stopped-hanging-out-with-porn/ Tue, 10 Jan 2012 01:04:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: more then I was http://aroomofmamasown.com/2008/05/why-i-stopped-hanging-out-with-porn/comment-page-1/#comment-4095 more then I was Mon, 15 Sep 2008 15:00:00 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/wordpress/?p=464#comment-4095 I have to say this is one truly well written post. It was a pleasure to read and if i knew how to add you to my post I would(i am new to this blogging thing) now having said all of that I must agree with slutty mcwhore it is more complicated than that. <br/>I hated my job as a bartender, however no one ever called me damaged . To the best of my knowledge nobody has ever called any bartender spiritually damaged for simply being a bartender nor has anyone ever called the bartending profession spiritually damaging, this is despite of the huge numbers of alcohol related fatality's each and EVERY year. People often attribute things with human emotional states. Guns are bad. Organism in women cause them to go crazy (histrionic) Porn is spiritually damaging. FACT: porn is a thing and like many things it does not have human attributes. People are the driving force in porn and it is to them and only them should we assign those very real tenants you so well express with your post . also to those who say porn is immoral let us not forget what has been morally acceptible in human histry with an understanding that moral are NOTHING more then what is CURRENTLY acceptable societal standards : slavery,rule of thumb (whipping women with a stick no wider than a males thumb), child labor, tar and feathering, stoning(still ok in some parts of the world),caining(see stoning). The point I hoped to make was just because something is in favor with society or out of favor with it does NOT make it right or wrong. I have to say this is one truly well written post. It was a pleasure to read and if i knew how to add you to my post I would(i am new to this blogging thing) now having said all of that I must agree with slutty mcwhore it is more complicated than that.
I hated my job as a bartender, however no one ever called me damaged . To the best of my knowledge nobody has ever called any bartender spiritually damaged for simply being a bartender nor has anyone ever called the bartending profession spiritually damaging, this is despite of the huge numbers of alcohol related fatality's each and EVERY year. People often attribute things with human emotional states. Guns are bad. Organism in women cause them to go crazy (histrionic) Porn is spiritually damaging. FACT: porn is a thing and like many things it does not have human attributes. People are the driving force in porn and it is to them and only them should we assign those very real tenants you so well express with your post . also to those who say porn is immoral let us not forget what has been morally acceptible in human histry with an understanding that moral are NOTHING more then what is CURRENTLY acceptable societal standards : slavery,rule of thumb (whipping women with a stick no wider than a males thumb), child labor, tar and feathering, stoning(still ok in some parts of the world),caining(see stoning). The point I hoped to make was just because something is in favor with society or out of favor with it does NOT make it right or wrong.

]]> By: more then I was http://aroomofmamasown.com/2008/05/why-i-stopped-hanging-out-with-porn/comment-page-1/#comment-4088 more then I was Mon, 15 Sep 2008 05:04:00 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/wordpress/?p=464#comment-4088 #1 I love the way you wrote this. Wow it is beautifully written and well thought out. I want to add your post to my list but i don,t know how yet. New to this.<br/>#2 now that i have said all of that I must agree with slutty mcwhore it is more complicated then that. I hated my job as a bartender but no one has ever called me damaged nor has anyone ever suggested that my profession mas ill moral or spiritually degrading this is despite the number of alcohol fatality's EVERY year. Porn is a thing and like most things it is not anything more then simply a thing. People attribute human emotion to things all the time but the things that get labeled never have the opportunity to defend themselves from the labels. Things can not DO such things. #1 I love the way you wrote this. Wow it is beautifully written and well thought out. I want to add your post to my list but i don,t know how yet. New to this.
#2 now that i have said all of that I must agree with slutty mcwhore it is more complicated then that. I hated my job as a bartender but no one has ever called me damaged nor has anyone ever suggested that my profession mas ill moral or spiritually degrading this is despite the number of alcohol fatality's EVERY year. Porn is a thing and like most things it is not anything more then simply a thing. People attribute human emotion to things all the time but the things that get labeled never have the opportunity to defend themselves from the labels. Things can not DO such things.

]]> By: Sarahlynn http://aroomofmamasown.com/2008/05/why-i-stopped-hanging-out-with-porn/comment-page-1/#comment-3419 Sarahlynn Sat, 12 Jul 2008 06:22:00 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/wordpress/?p=464#comment-3419 Well said, well said! <br/><br/>When I saw this post at the top, I actually stopped reading here for a while because every time I started to click over, I'd think, <i>oh, but there's that post that I'm going to want to take time with and really think about and I don't have the time/mental energy right now</i> . . . <br/><br/>which was a significant enough barrier to keep me away until late one Friday night when I should be sleeping. :) Well said, well said!

When I saw this post at the top, I actually stopped reading here for a while because every time I started to click over, I'd think, oh, but there's that post that I'm going to want to take time with and really think about and I don't have the time/mental energy right now . . .

which was a significant enough barrier to keep me away until late one Friday night when I should be sleeping. :)

]]> By: Willow http://aroomofmamasown.com/2008/05/why-i-stopped-hanging-out-with-porn/comment-page-1/#comment-3295 Willow Sun, 29 Jun 2008 00:44:00 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/wordpress/?p=464#comment-3295 I had never looked at porn either except to see a Playboy magazine a couple of times as a teen. Since discovering my husband was looking at porn I had watched it in an attempt to understand it. I saw very sad faces and not genuine pleasure. I read as much as I could, finding blogs and articles of people that had worked in the industry. The porn world is a very harsh world for the people living in it by the accounts of people that have gotten out of it. Something like 95% of them have been sexually abused in their past and suffer from post traumatic stress from their work. They also report experiencing very little pleasure in their personal sex lives. I don't think porn is sexy. I would rather be having luscious sensual sex of my own (not lately though) than veiwing others. I had never looked at porn either except to see a Playboy magazine a couple of times as a teen. Since discovering my husband was looking at porn I had watched it in an attempt to understand it. I saw very sad faces and not genuine pleasure. I read as much as I could, finding blogs and articles of people that had worked in the industry. The porn world is a very harsh world for the people living in it by the accounts of people that have gotten out of it. Something like 95% of them have been sexually abused in their past and suffer from post traumatic stress from their work. They also report experiencing very little pleasure in their personal sex lives. I don't think porn is sexy. I would rather be having luscious sensual sex of my own (not lately though) than veiwing others.

]]> By: My name is Ken, and I'm a sex addict. http://aroomofmamasown.com/2008/05/why-i-stopped-hanging-out-with-porn/comment-page-1/#comment-2941 My name is Ken, and I'm a sex addict. Tue, 27 May 2008 00:10:00 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/wordpress/?p=464#comment-2941 "Porn is a window on suffering, not sexuality." woman anonymous 7<br/><br/>I could not agree more with this post or this comment. Having used pornography as a stepping stone, like your husband, it was a huge catalyst in my own addiction. <br/><br/>Thank you for the well thought out post! "Porn is a window on suffering, not sexuality." woman anonymous 7

I could not agree more with this post or this comment. Having used pornography as a stepping stone, like your husband, it was a huge catalyst in my own addiction.

Thank you for the well thought out post!

]]> By: Jay http://aroomofmamasown.com/2008/05/why-i-stopped-hanging-out-with-porn/comment-page-1/#comment-2892 Jay Wed, 21 May 2008 20:04:00 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/wordpress/?p=464#comment-2892 I can understand why being seen as a victim is damaging. If someone is looking at me as a victim, they're not seeing me. I have no reality as an individual and no agency. It's another way of objectifying and demeaning other people instead of engaging with them in all their complexity.<br/><br/>I have more to say about free choice but that got so long it's turning into a post of my own! I can understand why being seen as a victim is damaging. If someone is looking at me as a victim, they're not seeing me. I have no reality as an individual and no agency. It's another way of objectifying and demeaning other people instead of engaging with them in all their complexity.

I have more to say about free choice but that got so long it's turning into a post of my own!

]]> By: Mary P Jones (MPJ) http://aroomofmamasown.com/2008/05/why-i-stopped-hanging-out-with-porn/comment-page-1/#comment-2891 Mary P Jones (MPJ) Wed, 21 May 2008 17:24:00 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/wordpress/?p=464#comment-2891 Guilty and Slutty, I hope the next few posts will clarify. Guilty and Slutty, I hope the next few posts will clarify.

]]> By: Guilty Secret http://aroomofmamasown.com/2008/05/why-i-stopped-hanging-out-with-porn/comment-page-1/#comment-2888 Guilty Secret Wed, 21 May 2008 16:23:00 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/wordpress/?p=464#comment-2888 I'm still making my mind up about this one!<br/><br/>I'm surprised actually at this post. I imagined you would have moved closer to a position of "porn is unacceptable" rather than "it's just not for me."<br/><br/>"I hadn't been a voyeur to people's pleasure, I had been a voyeur to their suffering." - this rang very true for me, and made me wonder why you don't feel more anti-porn now...? I'm still making my mind up about this one!

I'm surprised actually at this post. I imagined you would have moved closer to a position of "porn is unacceptable" rather than "it's just not for me."

"I hadn't been a voyeur to people's pleasure, I had been a voyeur to their suffering." - this rang very true for me, and made me wonder why you don't feel more anti-porn now...?

]]> By: FI0NA http://aroomofmamasown.com/2008/05/why-i-stopped-hanging-out-with-porn/comment-page-1/#comment-2882 FI0NA Wed, 21 May 2008 02:58:00 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/wordpress/?p=464#comment-2882 Probably miss A-P had never even looked at Porn, pretty much like me, apart from the odds sneak peak at playboy in the 1970s (I think they had pubes in those days) so miss A-P was probably a babe-in-the-woods. A criticism levelled at me by my DH, but also the argument about respecting women's choices, he would love that. I was in the "its so wrong" camp, and then the "boys will be boys" camp to allow me to accept my DH. Anyway, for some reason :) there is too much going on in my life to make a thorough study of porn, so I will respect your position. Probably miss A-P had never even looked at Porn, pretty much like me, apart from the odds sneak peak at playboy in the 1970s (I think they had pubes in those days) so miss A-P was probably a babe-in-the-woods. A criticism levelled at me by my DH, but also the argument about respecting women's choices, he would love that. I was in the "its so wrong" camp, and then the "boys will be boys" camp to allow me to accept my DH. Anyway, for some reason :) there is too much going on in my life to make a thorough study of porn, so I will respect your position.

]]> By: Slutty McWhore http://aroomofmamasown.com/2008/05/why-i-stopped-hanging-out-with-porn/comment-page-1/#comment-2879 Slutty McWhore Tue, 20 May 2008 21:59:00 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/wordpress/?p=464#comment-2879 This was a well-written post, as usual, but I find it troubling that your attitude towards porn has shifted so dramatically. I take exception to your earlier view that women in porn are just making informed life choices (the reality is more complicated than that) but I also take exception to your new opinion that they are all damaged and fucked-up (the reality is more complicated than that, too!).<br/><br/>As a sex worker (which, I guess, is kind of related to porn) I don't feel particularly empowered by my work, but I sure as hell don't feel damaged either. And I really don't like it when other women insist on seeing me as damaged, or a victim of false consciousness. In fact, attitudes like that actually make me feel worse than the actual experience of sex work ever could. When other women say things like that, it's immensely hurtful, as I feel that I'm being pigeon-holed and talked over.<br/><br/>My comment here sounds like I'm angry, but I'm really not. I just wanted to say that the reality of porn (and sex work) is incredibly grey, murky and ambivalent.<br/><br/>And I'm actually not particularly into porn. I find it such a turn-off that all the women have shaved off all their pubic hair, and have had boob jobs. Real women would turn me on much more. This was a well-written post, as usual, but I find it troubling that your attitude towards porn has shifted so dramatically. I take exception to your earlier view that women in porn are just making informed life choices (the reality is more complicated than that) but I also take exception to your new opinion that they are all damaged and fucked-up (the reality is more complicated than that, too!).

As a sex worker (which, I guess, is kind of related to porn) I don't feel particularly empowered by my work, but I sure as hell don't feel damaged either. And I really don't like it when other women insist on seeing me as damaged, or a victim of false consciousness. In fact, attitudes like that actually make me feel worse than the actual experience of sex work ever could. When other women say things like that, it's immensely hurtful, as I feel that I'm being pigeon-holed and talked over.

My comment here sounds like I'm angry, but I'm really not. I just wanted to say that the reality of porn (and sex work) is incredibly grey, murky and ambivalent.

And I'm actually not particularly into porn. I find it such a turn-off that all the women have shaved off all their pubic hair, and have had boob jobs. Real women would turn me on much more.

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