Comments on: What Is Codependence?

By: MTACL

MTACL — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 04:41:27 +0000

This post speaks volumes to me. I am married to a compulsive liar. I feel like I am more addicted to him than to anything else. Your blog gives me hope. Thank you.

By: dynomitegirl

dynomitegirl — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 14:52:55 +0000

I have to still say it outloud, that is Co-dependant, because the line between caretaking and unhealthy can get a little murky at times.

By: g

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 22:56:46 +0000

My ex-wife was an alcoholic. My codependency started early in our relationship. I viewed her as this beautiful little bird that I needed to protect at all costs. Well, the costs were very high. As she spiraled into the darkness of alcoholism, I cleaned up the messes, gave her my arm when she was stumbling in public, cried to myself as she slept all day with a hangover, made excuses for family and friends, isolated us to avoid embarrassment, and poured out alcohol. It was two miserable years.

Luckily, a backbone was forced upon me when she cheated on me. I had spent so many years taking care of her and ignoring myself. It compelled me to finally do what I had wanted to do for so long.

But codependency is like an addiction. She promptly had a breakdown, stopped eating, had seizures, went on week long benders, went to detox, got DUIs, and lost her job. After our separation, I spent months trying to keep her life together. I just prolonged my misery. And just out of the blue, I started getting terrible anxiety. I could not stop being codependent even though it was emotional agony. I had to completely stop seeing her and helping her (we still talk though). I still worry about her and want to help her.

I am beginning to address the issues that caused me to take so much torment from another person. But, I've recognized that opposite of the codependent is a master manipulator.

By: What Is Codependence? – A Room of Mama’s Own « Recovery Is Sexy.com

What Is Codependence? – A Room of Mama’s Own « Recovery Is Sexy.com — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 03:25:53 +0000

[...] From A Room of Mama’s Own. [...]

By: Mel

Mel — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 05:17:21 +0000

I just stumbled across your blog tonight while catching up on Christina's Haiku Friday-ers. I read through your seven-part series about your marriage, and I came to this entry. Interestingly enough, you wrote it on my birthday. I wish I'd read it sooner.

To your knowledge, is codependence always (or nearly always) a result of neglect and/or abuse? Is it possible for a person to be codependent and have had a loving childhood and family life? Is it possible for a person to be a codependent and an addict?

I am aware of the risks of self-diagnosing (been there, done that, been actually diagnosed with ADD, clinical depression, and mild OCD by a professional). I read your post anyway, and what I find here worries me a little, but could answer some questions about myself and my marriage.

By: Deepak

Deepak — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 12:31:21 +0000

Codependence is a serious concern for many women and men in our culture. Most affected individuals do not fully realize the impact codependence has on their lives until they are adults and attempting to form and sustain stable relationships; maintaining effective relationships with their own children is also extremely stressful. Prior to adulthood, codependent persons may realize there is something wrong, but this dull sense of awareness is often rationalized as "adolescence," or the problems of growing up, or a number of other easily discounted symptoms

By: Fi0nai0na

Fi0nai0na — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 00:47:00 +0000

Have been avoiding this aspect of my relationship with SA. Now time to examine closer.

i0nafiona.blogspot.com

By: Virginia

Virginia — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 15:58:00 +0000

So, how do you decide what is healthy caretaking behavior and what is codependency?

By: BizyLizy

BizyLizy — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 22:50:00 +0000

This was very helpful (albeit difficult) for me to read. I am trying to sort out to what extent I have manipulated and victimized myself into painful situations, because of my codependent patterns. Not easy. Far easier to point the finger at someone else.

Thanks for addressing this.

By: Mary Ann

Mary Ann — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 17:37:00 +0000

I just came from Amazon.com where, in addition to ordering the 12 steps book for the group over at Junky's Wives Club, I ordered "Getting Them Sober: You Can Help!"

How's that for a codie title. Thought you'd get a chuckle out of that.