So, I decided to go back and re-read the part of your review that I liked because I forgot it after reading the rest.

"Some of the best chapters in the book focus on getting to the root of our sexual insecurities by healing the scars of childhood sexual abuse, looking at the messages we received about sex in childhood, improving our body images and cutting painful ties to the past. The most interesting to me was Chapter 5, "Cutting Soul Ties That Bind," which contains an exercise on looking for the common thread between your favorite movies, books and songs and seeing how that reflects upon the (potentially hurtful) ways you view relationships and the ghosts you carry into your sexual present."

I thought this entire section of your review was intriguing and gave a portrayal of the deeper aspects of the book.

And to be fair, the premise of the book is that what makes women beautiful is their confidence. Most of the parts that deal with body image do make the point that we should embrace and love our bodies as is. Again, there were parts of that that sat a little uneasily, for me personally, with other parts of the book.

Sexual confidence comes from within a person. I've always had it and not once thought my husband's behavior had to do with me. When I asked him initially how he would feel if I was looking at porn like he was he said, "Insecure". He saw my jaw drop and asked how I did feel. It surely was not that - far from it. I knew it was about his insecurity.

If people knew about my husband's sex addiction, I'm pretty darn sure if they were the type to think a wife had any bearing on it they would be left scratching their heads, wondering what was wrong with him not me.

But it has far more to do with being connected to our sexuality and sensuality than it does even our physical appearance. I know women that are not great beauties or don't have perfect bodies that are very tapped in to their creative sexual energy. This makes them absolutely beautiful.

It would have been better if she'd included ways to become sexually confident that don't rely on the husband's response.

Whipped Cream and a Cherry?
If I can make my own personalized version of Playboy, my husband won't think about any other women he's seen in, oh, i don't know, PLAYBOY!

Wow. The Sexually Confident Wife is....

exactly the kind of how to be a perfect wife FOR YOUR HUSBAND in the 1960's crap that has been crammed down our throats for half a century.

It's like this woman is as addicted to AMC's Mad Men as I am and decided that the story line,(heavy on booze, adultery, sexual harassment in the workplace by the men & sexual 'manipulation' in the workplace by some of the women), would make a great handout on how to keep your marriage happy.

Would someone please tell me why it is the woman's job to keep the man happy? Why is receiving a Girl Scout badge for Sexual Confidence considered our reward for keeping Husband happy?

Yup, I'm ranting. I hate this type of shit, especially when it's got all kinds of self-tests that pose as therapeutic diagnostics.

"Sexual Codependents Magazine" gave me a giggle. =)

I will try to make you giggle too.
When Bowser first started really coming out of the closet and telling people besides me and one other person that he was a Sex Addict (about 3 years ago-yes, 6 years after he began recovery), I was a bit incensed at the idea that people would think I wasn't a Sexually Confident Wife. Really incensed. So we met with Dr. Mean Old Lady to talk to her about his need to broaden his support group amongst our friends, which i totally thought was a great idea in part b/c I was tired of being the Coach, Water Girl, Field Maintenance, and QB of his team, and my need to feel that he was clear that his addiction was his doing and not a result of my frigidity or general lameness. She asked me if I had any ideas about how Bowser might go about relaying this concept. I thought for a moment and then told them my idea.

So for the last 3 years, whenever Bowser decides to share his struggle with sex addiction with one of our friends for the first time, somewhere in the conversation he has to say, "Sophie is really fantastic in bed, but I'm an idiot."

One thing was that I didn't know how to deal with the fact that I wanted to sleep with him and he made no move whatsoever. I am not confident girl (though I try) and I thought--well, everyone knows men are sex mad and will sleep with anyone. I'm here. I'm willing and available. If he won't sleep with me I must be amazingly unattractive so why would I make a move on him when he will obviously reject me.

And it was hard to discuss with anyone because I couldn't bring myself to say that I want a physical relationship more than he does. I couldn't stop myself for thinking that if I actually admitted that to anyone, they'd agree with him--that I wasn't even worth the time to sleep with.

Or if i admitted to wanting to sleep with him I'd be a whore. You cant win.

Anyway, to read that yet another book says women want sex less and men want it more--it doesn't help.

I hate, hate, hate this kind of shit. Seriously, it makes me want to break everything in my house. The number one reason I realized so early on that my husband was a sex addict is because I AM a sexually confident woman. I enjoy sex, I'm thrilled with my body and I'm incredibly loving. I never went through a period of doubting myself but rather wondering, "Why does my husband have such crap taste and prefer pictures of random, don't-even-compare women when he's got a gem right here?" And you're so right, we spend so much time focusing on the woman's sexual confidence and don't even talk about what's oftentimes an even bigger problem: the man's.

Sorry for the rant--you know how strongly I feel about this topic.