Comments on: Sarah Palin and the Myth of Special Needs Supermoms

By: Syd

Syd — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:38:00 +0000

I don't think that Palin's parenting skills have anything to do with her political aspirations. As you pointed out, she has a lot of resources and if she chooses to take on a difficult job, then it is her decision.

Thus, I couldn't understand the flack about her leaving her family to campaign. I have other issues with her political stance but not the issue of her family. That's her business.

I see intelligent educated women in my job and admire their courage and tenacity to juggle a job and their home life. Yet, I think women aren't appreciated for the fact that they are able to do that. Not many men would be able to handle the load of a demanding job and parenting children without complaining. I also see some condescension by management about their having to take time off from work to have a child and then the maternity leave. That attitude is one that makes me angry.

I'm out of my league here a bit because we don't have any children and have been able to have demanding jobs without child rearing to consider. But for anyone to question whether it can be done, well, it just seems like meanness.

By: Guilty Secret

Guilty Secret — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:26:00 +0000

You always make me think differently. I hadn't been able to think much more about Palin that "bleurgh!" and you opened up my mind today. Thank you.

By: kat

kat — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:14:00 +0000

i loved loved loved this post. you're right on the money.

By: Mary P Jones (MPJ)

Mary P Jones (MPJ) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:13:00 +0000

Ah, I have double checked! Todd Palin took a leave of absence from his job for seven months and then went back to work, but cut back his responsibilities by taking a less senior job. I'll correct the reference in my post.

By: Mary P Jones (MPJ)

Mary P Jones (MPJ) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:08:00 +0000

bekapaige, drat! Am I passing on misinformation? I remember reading that Todd Palin quit his job. Now I'll have to go check.

By: bekapaige

bekapaige — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:05:00 +0000

Wow, this is a fantastic post. There are so many guilt-trips that society puts on women and it's so hard to not let them get to you. Kudos to you for acknowledging that you are not, cannot, and should not be your child's end-all, be-all. Whether you stay home or work or find some combination of the two, people always seem to judge.

Although I think I should point out that Todd Palin isn't a stay-at-home parent, he works too.

By: J-Online

J-Online — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 14:46:00 +0000

Love your perspective on this. I too had the same feelings after my son was born. Postpartem Depression was HELL. Feeling inadequete was just as horrific. It's a hard decision to make, and regardless of what you decide, there will always be people who fault you. I had to go back to work for financial reasons and was told by a Friend (Ha ha) that she would live out of a car before putting her kid in daycare. Those words have stuck with me for years.

By: Mama Mara

Mama Mara — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 14:39:00 +0000

Sarah Palin helped bring this on herself when she proclaimed that her status as a "special needs parent" is a reason to vote for her. How many men would do this?

By: Sunshine Morningstar

Sunshine Morningstar — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 13:23:00 +0000

"I love my son. I'd give my life for him. But he is not -- and I think shouldn't be -- my entire life. And I always feel a pang of guilt for that."

I agree completely, our children should not be our entire life. Oddly enough, I don't feel any guilt for not thinking my child should be my entire life. I've been wondering if I'm even capable of feeling guilt...because I haven't felt any guilt about anything in my brief time as a mother. I guess there's still lots of time!!

By: Velvet Verbosity

Velvet Verbosity — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 12:58:00 +0000

You know, I don't like Sarah Palin as a candidate, not one wit. She irritates me nine ways from Sunday. I'm baffled by McCain's pick, I'm pissed off at the Republicans in general, and I'm bone-tired weary of corruption and hypocrisy (addicts in my sphere don't help). Yet it never once occurred to me to think that she was being a bad mother to her son because she was choosing a political career. I did, however, question her staunch commitment to abstinence education in light of the fact that it didn't seem to work out so well for her own daughter.

I have a "special needs" child who is now one year from being on his own. I never did learn how to adequately identify his needs or navigate the pinball system of educators and mental health professionals before it was too late. The system beat us the hell up, and it shows. I was a single mother, and it was much much easier to dismiss me. I needed to give up my job, my education, in order to devote all my energies to fighting the labyrinth nightmare. But I couldn't. There was no financial way. I had to make a choice between mere survival, and having the time to do right by my suffering child. There is a rage in me now. I don't know how to forgive all those people.

Speaking of gender stereotypes, that was brought front and center when Joe Biden broke down during the debates saying, "don't tell me I don't know what it's like". Thank you Joe.

I feel like I'm not saying what I'm trying to say. That is, that I feel what you are saying here, and I agree wholeheartedly, and what's more, it resonates with me...deeply.