Comments on: Finding a Babysitter for a Special Needs Child http://aroomofmamasown.com/2009/05/finding-a-babysitter-for-a-special-needs-child/ Tue, 10 Jan 2012 01:04:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: aggravated http://aroomofmamasown.com/2009/05/finding-a-babysitter-for-a-special-needs-child/comment-page-1/#comment-7487 aggravated Fri, 30 Apr 2010 16:09:45 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=1507#comment-7487 A friend of mine with a SN child is wearing me down. She regularly calls the very night that she needs a sitter, breathlessly announces that she REALLY REALLY needs a babysitter BAD, (never mind that I have four children of my own,) drops her two off for several hours, and never, ever offers to reciprocate. Or pay. Hell, I have to pay my teenaged sitter forty bucks to keep my kids for three hours; babysitting ain't free. I know she feels she's gotten the short end of the stick with a special-needs child, and I know I'll probably never REALLY understand what that's like. But would it kill her to offer to watch my kids in return for free sitting? I could use a night out, too. Finally I quit taking her requests. This has cooled the friendship considerably... but. I can't just be her free sitter-on-call without incurring major resentment. Not indefinitely. Sucks to lose a friend like that. I'm sure she'll latch onto someone else eventually, though. Blah. A friend of mine with a SN child is wearing me down. She regularly calls the very night that she needs a sitter, breathlessly announces that she REALLY REALLY needs a babysitter BAD, (never mind that I have four children of my own,) drops her two off for several hours, and never, ever offers to reciprocate.

Or pay. Hell, I have to pay my teenaged sitter forty bucks to keep my kids for three hours; babysitting ain't free.

I know she feels she's gotten the short end of the stick with a special-needs child, and I know I'll probably never REALLY understand what that's like. But would it kill her to offer to watch my kids in return for free sitting? I could use a night out, too.

Finally I quit taking her requests. This has cooled the friendship considerably... but. I can't just be her free sitter-on-call without incurring major resentment. Not indefinitely.

Sucks to lose a friend like that. I'm sure she'll latch onto someone else eventually, though. Blah.

]]> By: find therapist http://aroomofmamasown.com/2009/05/finding-a-babysitter-for-a-special-needs-child/comment-page-1/#comment-6101 find therapist Tue, 16 Jun 2009 06:07:15 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=1507#comment-6101 I hope you can find a reliable sitter for Austen. I know it's hard to find a sitter that know how to take care of children with special care. And I'm glad to know that you and your husband still finds the time to go to therapies to save your marriage. I know that this is a very difficult and stressful stage in your lives. I hope you can find a reliable sitter for Austen. I know it's hard to find a sitter that know how to take care of children with special care. And I'm glad to know that you and your husband still finds the time to go to therapies to save your marriage. I know that this is a very difficult and stressful stage in your lives.

]]> By: Sarah http://aroomofmamasown.com/2009/05/finding-a-babysitter-for-a-special-needs-child/comment-page-1/#comment-5884 Sarah Mon, 11 May 2009 14:20:00 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=1507#comment-5884 I am with Sophie--I have major trust issues that haven't even remotely been close to solved. In the 7 years since Boo was born (almost 8!?!) we've only used relatives for babysitting care and once they spent the night at a trusted friend's house (we'd known them for three years at that point). Scary, isn't it? I don't have a lot of those resources open to me as we homeschool, have no regular daycare, and have no identifiable special needs. But! This has got me thinking. Thanks Mary! I am with Sophie--I have major trust issues that haven't even remotely been close to solved. In the 7 years since Boo was born (almost 8!?!) we've only used relatives for babysitting care and once they spent the night at a trusted friend's house (we'd known them for three years at that point). Scary, isn't it?

I don't have a lot of those resources open to me as we homeschool, have no regular daycare, and have no identifiable special needs. But! This has got me thinking. Thanks Mary!

]]> By: Sophie in the Moonlight http://aroomofmamasown.com/2009/05/finding-a-babysitter-for-a-special-needs-child/comment-page-1/#comment-5852 Sophie in the Moonlight Fri, 08 May 2009 16:54:38 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=1507#comment-5852 I don't have a special needs child, but I do have major trust issues. We have ONE babysitter and when she is unavailable, we leave the boys with their grandparents. If neither possibility is an option, then we don't go out. You're much braver than me AND much more resourceful. I'll keep your tips in mind for friends' with special needs kids who are looking for a sitter. I don't have a special needs child, but I do have major trust issues. We have ONE babysitter and when she is unavailable, we leave the boys with their grandparents. If neither possibility is an option, then we don't go out.

You're much braver than me AND much more resourceful. I'll keep your tips in mind for friends' with special needs kids who are looking for a sitter.

]]> By: Xavia http://aroomofmamasown.com/2009/05/finding-a-babysitter-for-a-special-needs-child/comment-page-1/#comment-5851 Xavia Fri, 08 May 2009 13:06:29 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=1507#comment-5851 I've been thinking heavely about my babysitting sitting situation. Yesterday I was planning to just take the kids to therapy and hope they would fall asleep on the car ride over. But those suggestions are great. I've been thinking heavely about my babysitting sitting situation. Yesterday I was planning to just take the kids to therapy and hope they would fall asleep on the car ride over. But those suggestions are great.

]]> By: Kat http://aroomofmamasown.com/2009/05/finding-a-babysitter-for-a-special-needs-child/comment-page-1/#comment-5850 Kat Fri, 08 May 2009 12:12:48 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=1507#comment-5850 Over the years, I have been lucky to have had some very good sitters. And many of them were young teenagers (15 or so). I have a theory that if you are someone who gets disability, you just get it. I always keep in mind that I can't put the standards of my therapists or professional childcare services on a babysitter.... they aren't there to do therapy or to do provide a curriculum, etc. They are there to make sure the kids don't get hurt, the house doesn't burn down, and that we will all enjoy their stay enough (me, the kids, the babysitter) that they will hopefully return. Of course, making sure they understand the unique needs of the child is an added component of this relationship. Another good place to troll for sitters.... if you have a daycare or other child care setting you use for full/part time day care, many of those employees moonlight by babysitting. The best sitter we found for Movie Boy was one of Ben Ten's preschool teaching assistants. He was going through a program for early education and had an empathy for children that allowed him to appreciate Movie Boy's quirks. Over the years, I have been lucky to have had some very good sitters. And many of them were young teenagers (15 or so). I have a theory that if you are someone who gets disability, you just get it.

I always keep in mind that I can't put the standards of my therapists or professional childcare services on a babysitter.... they aren't there to do therapy or to do provide a curriculum, etc. They are there to make sure the kids don't get hurt, the house doesn't burn down, and that we will all enjoy their stay enough (me, the kids, the babysitter) that they will hopefully return. Of course, making sure they understand the unique needs of the child is an added component of this relationship.

Another good place to troll for sitters.... if you have a daycare or other child care setting you use for full/part time day care, many of those employees moonlight by babysitting.

The best sitter we found for Movie Boy was one of Ben Ten's preschool teaching assistants. He was going through a program for early education and had an empathy for children that allowed him to appreciate Movie Boy's quirks.

]]> By: Tanya Savko http://aroomofmamasown.com/2009/05/finding-a-babysitter-for-a-special-needs-child/comment-page-1/#comment-5849 Tanya Savko Fri, 08 May 2009 05:21:06 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=1507#comment-5849 Those are some great suggestions, especially the first one on the list. I wish I had thought of that back in the day! Those are some great suggestions, especially the first one on the list. I wish I had thought of that back in the day!

]]> By: Syd http://aroomofmamasown.com/2009/05/finding-a-babysitter-for-a-special-needs-child/comment-page-1/#comment-5844 Syd Thu, 07 May 2009 17:59:58 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=1507#comment-5844 I hope that you find a good sitter for him. We don't have children but it is challenging finding someone to watch 3 cats and 10 dogs! I hope that you find a good sitter for him. We don't have children but it is challenging finding someone to watch 3 cats and 10 dogs!

]]> By: Maddy http://aroomofmamasown.com/2009/05/finding-a-babysitter-for-a-special-needs-child/comment-page-1/#comment-5832 Maddy Thu, 07 May 2009 04:07:51 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=1507#comment-5832 You know you and I could yack about this one topic for many a long day. [I think I probably mean 'chat' as I think 'yack' means something entirely different over here :)] The worst bit is having the respite worker over [pre-screened of course] for their three hour minimum where you 'train' them for an hour and a half and then dash out of the house for 20 minutes to twiddle your thumbs or buy some milk] and then return to find the sitter at the table cutting coupons and talking on the telephone and every child plugged into 'illegal' electronics. Why would I pay someone to do this please? Come on over and yack at my place....... Cheers You know you and I could yack about this one topic for many a long day. [I think I probably mean 'chat' as I think 'yack' means something entirely different over here :) ]

The worst bit is having the respite worker over [pre-screened of course] for their three hour minimum where you 'train' them for an hour and a half and then dash out of the house for 20 minutes to twiddle your thumbs or buy some milk] and then return to find the sitter at the table cutting coupons and talking on the telephone and every child plugged into 'illegal' electronics. Why would I pay someone to do this please?

Come on over and yack at my place.......
Cheers

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