Comments on: Lingerie, Sex Toys and Me?

By: Angelina

Angelina — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 16:32:39 +0000

Mary I have just discovered your blog and interview and thank you for such compelling reading and information that many would find reassuring and constructive. I have an adult store myself and have been answering questions about obsessve sexual behaviour and pressure within relationships regarding the use of sex toys and accessories. Paula is a rarity in a money making industry whereby human issues and sexual anxiety are ignored in the persuit of profit. Hats off to you both!

By: Ingrid

Ingrid — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 23:34:35 +0000

Very cool, MPJ. You are an expert, definitely.

Your answer to question # 3 resonated with me. When my ex-husband left me, my daughter was only 7 months old, and knowing she completely depended on me stopped me from going crazy and engaging in any destructive behaviors.

This interview was very informative, she asked you very good questions and I think your commentary on the three big misconceptions was quite insightful.

By: Bernadine

Bernadine — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:32:08 +0000

MPJ--
At this point I'm just chiming in, but I'll do it anyway. I love the way you explained this addiction, the work everyone needs to do for a marriage to survive.(not just that "make it work" phrase that doesn't nearly emcompass all the factors that fit into a relationship hit by this.) You really have a gift with words.

By: Cate Subrosa

Cate Subrosa — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 11:39:18 +0000

Great article. I thought your last paragraph was especially good and can definitely see it helping someone who might end up on that site for the wrong reasons.

By: Headless Mom

Headless Mom — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 23:38:46 +0000

Great article, Mary! (Both actually!)

I emailed it to a friend of mine that is a LCSW and does parties for women, (similar to Paula's). I'm sure she will also enjoy it!

By: Paula

Paula — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 20:36:07 +0000

Hello everyone. This is Paula. Thank you for your nice words. I felt this was a very important article to post on my website. Yes, while I'm in the business of selling sexy toys and lingerie, I would never feel good about promoting these types of things to someone if they (or their partner) were going to be hurt by them in any way.

As I've explained to Mary, I am in this business to help women have better intimate relationships but only if it's done in a healthy manner. I learned so much by doing this interview with Mary and I cannot tell you how much respect and admiration I have for her and all she's been through. It was really an eye opener for me!

By: Syd

Syd — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 12:49:00 +0000

Thanks MPJ for doing this. I think that sex addiction is like any other...it covers up a deep need within and all the fears that stem from that need. You are awesome.

By: Rae

Rae — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 04:16:21 +0000

I agree with Monica, that I think it is to Paula's credit that she published an interview on sex addiction and its detriments on her site.

Thank you, very much, MPJ, for bringing light to this issue for women who may not only be feeling "pressured," but also be feeling compulsive in use of lingerie and sex toys. I know for at least two of the women I sponsor -- these are self-induced compulsions, not stirred by the pressure of a man in their lives.

Great job! Thanks so much for being a wonderful vessel for the message of CoSA and for the sex addiction recovery groups.

By: Mary P Jones

Mary P Jones — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 04:12:41 +0000

Yes, Monica. I really appreciated that Paula was willing to post a piece that essentially contained a warning to think before buying her products. That showed a lot of integrity.

By: Monica

Monica — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 04:03:17 +0000

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, and doing that interview. I also want to thank Paula for being willing to have that candid a look at something that *could* be harmful for her buisness up there.