SO been there. My research skills are top notch (even friends have me research things that are happening to them. Of course I help b/c I’m helpful like that. SHUT UP, I am NOT codependent!), too, and I've always looked to them to solve any problem that came up in the lives of me or my loved ones. If only research was enough to fix the problems of the world. Research into SA only helped me understand its clinical origins and let me in on addiction lingo. The real work came from living day in and day out (eventually) becoming committed to accepting only authenticity from myself and my surroundings.

Last month, I was talking to Cloe about fears I had about a hypothetical relapse shoe dropping in Bowser's recovery - lots of ifs. The strangest words came out of my mouth. "but, those are not my ifs." WHOA! did I just say that?! I did. I said it. I thought about it for a moment and realized this really was my truth. I have never felt so free. Bowser is doing great. He is. But, regardless, his ifs are not mine, his choices are not mine. All I can do is live my life authentically. Incredible freedom can be found in realizing one is only responsible for her own choices. In my early codie if-I-can-find-the-answers-then-I-can-fix-this-and-prevent-it-from-happening-again days, I never would have thought my peace would be found in the other direction.

Life is beautiful.

Great post! IMHO, This would be a good one to cross post over at the JWC as a bit of testimonial on the journey from early codie to codie in recovery. Like I said, IMHO.

Great post! IMHO, This would be a good one to cross post over at the JWC as a bit of testimonial on the journey from early codie to codie in recovery. Like I said, IMHO.