My cousin (Excavator, above) referred me here and I'm so glad. I aim to remember your example the next time my child and I are lock-jawed in opposition. You remind me to open my heart and mind to inspiration? to the Divine? at the exact moment I am at risk of shutting down.

Thank you.

In reading your story what came to me, is that part of being present, is that you don't have to be aware that you're present.

In your case you truly let go, in that moment, and that permitted the miraculous shift.

I so aspire to that--to the ability to be so present in myself so these moments can occur--where without realizing it even I'm choosing connection instead of dominance.

Thank you for this beautiful story.

I have similar bed time battles with the 4yr old weekly (improving recently, though) and they tend to follow a similar script, with the time to me reaching calm explanation of why he needs to sleep for his own sake being directly proportional to how tired I am.

Whether you call it the god bit inside you, the Buddha spot or just faith in a child's ability to make good choices for themselves with the right support*, believing in our kids is key to whatever "good parenting" is, I suspect.

*Why am I not surprised my description is the most long winded?

You are a wonderful teacher.

Anyway, I didn't have a God moment, but I had an Aha! moment with a book. It was a book on teaching sign language to children, and for some reason it just hit me that learning sign language would be the solution to Alba's temper. So I bought the book, and learned some basic signs immediately. The next time she threw a temper tantrum because she was hungry/angry/lonely/tired, I started signing to her. It stopped her mind. It stopped her tantrum. Then later, I taught her some signs, particularly any related to getting the things she needed that would cause tantrums in the first place. To this day, she still signs to me that she is thirsty if we are in a situation that she can't get a drink for herself and she's feeling anxious.

Anyway, I know that day, and that moment when you find the right thing to do is beautiful.

I think a big part of being a good parent is learning how to relate to your child as an individual. It's easy to be a bully and "make" them bend to your will - it takes a brilliant and caring parent to find a way to relate to your child as a separate human being who is worthy of your love, attention, and respect.

Good on you.