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| Image credit: Photo by Viqi French Licensed under Creative Commons |
My 12 Step group had some difficulty recently around a reading that listed some of the behaviors partners of sex addicts might have in common. Many of the women in the group found it triggering, because they felt the list of characteristics implied there was something wrong with them, that they were "sick" for reacting to an insane situation in a way they felt was normal and understandable, or that they were being told they must have reacted in some way that they hadn't simply because they were part of Club Partner-of-a-Sex-Addict. I knew that feeling. I had had it myself around the reading The S-Anon Problem. Many of us, myself included, worried that if the reading triggered this same feeling in so many of us, it could be off-putting to newcomers, the very people we wanted to reach out to most.
I just love your blog. I love it and I learn so much. When I watched the Oprah/Dr. Drew show what I loved, in listening to the people with sex addiction, who didn't hurt or betray me, was that I did feel great compassion and empathy too. And, being able to identify. That is humanizing. And, it carried over with my partner. I still honor my own place in my own process but I could get a different view and be grateful that he's in recovery, that it's a monster burden to be acting out and admitting how deep a problem sex addiction is and how much hard work is involved, gut wrenching work, and that is important. It's not te first place I go right now and I am glad I'm taking care of myself because that's healthy for me right now. But I learn so much from your posts and your journey and your honesty. Thanks for sharing, writing and being a blogger. c
Dropping by to wish you and yours a Happy Thanksgiving Day!
Hugs and blessings,
Knowing one is not alone is one of the most powerful of all empathetic interactions. I love the way your group handled this difficult reading.