Image by: catdancing on Flickr Licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0

I had planned to post this on Tuesday, but it turned out to be a completely crazy day, and of course, yesterday was my day of rest.

This week I focused on sleep (and fighting with God). The day started out badly. I accidentally ate sugar for breakfast on a day I'd committed not too. I was in a sleepy haze and just forgot. And it didn't get any better.

I didn't want to focus on sleep. I wanted to do a million other things, just like I always do. I wanted to exercise and meditate and clean the fish tank. But I was so very tired. Because I never get enough sleep; I always do those million other things instead. I stay up late because I'm so thankful to have the kids in bed, to have responsibilities done with, to have time for me. I don't want to miss out on all the fun I can finally have at the end of the day by sleeping! And it was the same this week. Like a willful little child (and I should know, I've got two of them) I screamed, "I do not want to go to bed!" at anyone who would listen: my husband, my body, God. I even cried about it. I was so disappointed in myself for wanting to "just" sleep.

But (after a lot of fussing about it) I did. I put everything else aside and got in bed and set the alarm clock for just before the kids got home from school. And I slept for almost five hours. Then I got up (crankily, annoyed at all that time I'd "wasted") ate a quick late lunch and met the kids. I continued to pout and be annoying all day until I made myself go to bed at 10 pm (which is extremely early for me).

And the next day, I felt better. And rewarded myself by staying up past midnight watching TV with my husband, thus starting the whole cycle all over again. Doh! Well, at least for one day, I got the rest I needed, and realized how much I do need it.

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