I also worry a lot about my child's future, what with the history of addiction and depression on both sides of the family.

While I get mired in my own pain and am angry at my partner I have no doubt, ZERO, that if his childhood was different his adult life would be different. Same for me. We are all still individuals. But brains are changed by trauma and that I DO ACCEPT AND BELIEVE.

For me, there's no way to address sex addiction without dealing with trauma and sexual and physical and emotional abuse. I mean we all deal and heal individually and exhibit our abuse in different ways, identify and embrace rather or evade and deny in different ways depending on lots of different factors. But, I think most all of us can (and dare I say should) rally around the idea that safer and less violent and invasive and traumatizing childhoods benefit.

Childhood trauma, unforntuately, even more than I knew and I would have said that was a lot, wreaks untold havoc on invidivuals and families for SO LONG. It's tragic, life altering and so serious.

I hope, someday, those who help trauma survivors (and couples) can also help idenitfy and work with people with abuse histories before acting out escalates.

Sadly, it seems to me, some sex addicts unconsciously re-enact the abuse, re experience the shame and hurt themselves but also take on a predatory/perpetrator like role while others maybe take on roles to reinforce the victim identity. That's a disturbing piece and part of sex addiction.

Once a therapist said to me, "You grew up with a sex addict and you married one." I had never thought of a sex offender who molested children as a sex addict (and I know not all sex addicts are child molesters and not all child molesters are sex addicts) but that these were lumped together like on parallel with, "You had a drunk for a father and you married one" was a shock slap to me when I heard it. Like I too was re-enacting my trauma and finding someone who would betray me as though it were just keeping that cycle going too.

That despite much conscious work, effort in healing and recovery and PTSD awareness the sex addiction even had room to exist in an environement I would have said was too healthy and open and honest for that to be possible

Just stunning.

Long winded comment (aas usual) but that was a thought and feeling provoking post.
c