Comments on: I Told You So http://aroomofmamasown.com/2010/03/i-told-you-so/ Tue, 10 Jan 2012 01:04:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: unreliable narrator http://aroomofmamasown.com/2010/03/i-told-you-so/comment-page-1/#comment-7285 unreliable narrator Mon, 22 Mar 2010 17:08:28 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=2729#comment-7285 "I was right and I have proof...." All those months when the addict in my life stuck to his story about how nothing was wrong, everything was fine, I was just imagining it, nothing to see here, move along...I'm still coming out of that fog into my own reality. I love what Astrid said, and it points to a new idea for me: Maybe the addict in my life will never be able to validate my reality. Maybe he will always say, in a really loud voice with lots of cursing, that the sky is red Red RED and I am wrong to feel, about that sky, the way I feel. Why has God's small whispering, "Sweetheart, it's blue and in your heart you know it's blue" failed to comfort me, failed to keep me off the psych unit? I need a better, stronger, deeper connection to that power greater than myself. Instead I am living with the red sky right now and I am burning up. "I was right and I have proof...." All those months when the addict in my life stuck to his story about how nothing was wrong, everything was fine, I was just imagining it, nothing to see here, move along...I'm still coming out of that fog into my own reality.

I love what Astrid said, and it points to a new idea for me: Maybe the addict in my life will never be able to validate my reality. Maybe he will always say, in a really loud voice with lots of cursing, that the sky is red Red RED and I am wrong to feel, about that sky, the way I feel. Why has God's small whispering, "Sweetheart, it's blue and in your heart you know it's blue" failed to comfort me, failed to keep me off the psych unit? I need a better, stronger, deeper connection to that power greater than myself.

Instead I am living with the red sky right now and I am burning up.

]]> By: Mary P Jones http://aroomofmamasown.com/2010/03/i-told-you-so/comment-page-1/#comment-7215 Mary P Jones Tue, 16 Mar 2010 22:38:25 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=2729#comment-7215 Astrid, that is so interesting. I used to call myself an atheist (or agnostic depending on my mood) for all of my adult life. And the God thing really turned me off of 12 Step at first. But I have found the concept of a higher power/ultimate reality very helpful and comforting in recent years, and although I've never made this exact connection, it is really resonating with me. Thanks so much for sharing. You've definitely given me something to examine and think about. Astrid, that is so interesting. I used to call myself an atheist (or agnostic depending on my mood) for all of my adult life. And the God thing really turned me off of 12 Step at first. But I have found the concept of a higher power/ultimate reality very helpful and comforting in recent years, and although I've never made this exact connection, it is really resonating with me. Thanks so much for sharing. You've definitely given me something to examine and think about.

]]> By: Cecilia http://aroomofmamasown.com/2010/03/i-told-you-so/comment-page-1/#comment-7207 Cecilia Tue, 16 Mar 2010 17:10:34 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=2729#comment-7207 I too grew up never believing in my feelings, which can get pretty dangerous if, for example, those feelings are telling you that you're with a man who is hurting you. How a parent doesn't realize what s/he is doing every time s/he says, "Oh, that doesn't hurt, now stop crying." Thanks for visiting my blog the other day (via Motherlode). I clicked on yours and realized that I have visited before! I love the honesty of your writing. I too grew up never believing in my feelings, which can get pretty dangerous if, for example, those feelings are telling you that you're with a man who is hurting you. How a parent doesn't realize what s/he is doing every time s/he says, "Oh, that doesn't hurt, now stop crying."

Thanks for visiting my blog the other day (via Motherlode). I clicked on yours and realized that I have visited before! I love the honesty of your writing.

]]> By: Astrid http://aroomofmamasown.com/2010/03/i-told-you-so/comment-page-1/#comment-7205 Astrid Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:32:56 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=2729#comment-7205 Things like this are the reason I became open to the whole "higher power" concept in the 12 steps, despite being a lifelong athiest. It is comforting for me to know that I may be right, or someone else may be right, and I can't know for sure, but there is an objective truth out there somewhere. I can also be more patient and wait for truth to be revealed now. I don't have to decide right now whether I'm the crazy one or whether the other person is. I can be open to both possibilities. I still don't have a traditional view of God, but I do believe that reality exists, although my knowledge of it will always be limited. Things like this are the reason I became open to the whole "higher power" concept in the 12 steps, despite being a lifelong athiest. It is comforting for me to know that I may be right, or someone else may be right, and I can't know for sure, but there is an objective truth out there somewhere.

I can also be more patient and wait for truth to be revealed now. I don't have to decide right now whether I'm the crazy one or whether the other person is. I can be open to both possibilities.

I still don't have a traditional view of God, but I do believe that reality exists, although my knowledge of it will always be limited.

]]> By: suburbancorrespondent http://aroomofmamasown.com/2010/03/i-told-you-so/comment-page-1/#comment-7096 suburbancorrespondent Sun, 14 Mar 2010 05:46:15 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=2729#comment-7096 That was a very goofy thing to do. If I had been the friend, I would have laughed, too. Saw you in the comments at Motherlode - nice to meet you! That was a very goofy thing to do. If I had been the friend, I would have laughed, too.

Saw you in the comments at Motherlode - nice to meet you!

]]> By: dirt clustit http://aroomofmamasown.com/2010/03/i-told-you-so/comment-page-1/#comment-7081 dirt clustit Sat, 13 Mar 2010 00:21:05 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=2729#comment-7081 I knew in my heart why I loved you guys. Because you have courage and fucking integrity. I don't care if when I hit return to publish this my computer catches on fire and the whole world laughs at me because they can all fuck off. I knew you would come through I am sorry for my reactions when I was frustrated. if the tables were turned I honestly do not know if I could do the right thing as you are. no have no idea how much you guys mean to me. dirt I knew in my heart why I loved you guys. Because you have courage and fucking integrity.

I don't care if when I hit return to publish this my computer catches on fire and the whole world laughs at me because they can all fuck off.

I knew you would come through

I am sorry for my reactions when I was frustrated.

if the tables were turned I honestly do not know if I could do the right thing as you are.

no have no idea how much you guys mean to me.

dirt

]]> By: Bernadine http://aroomofmamasown.com/2010/03/i-told-you-so/comment-page-1/#comment-7076 Bernadine Thu, 11 Mar 2010 21:05:50 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=2729#comment-7076 Ha, I love it. Thanks for being able to share yourself, warts and all. It's so insightful, and helps me understand where some of my own character defects come from, too. Ha, I love it. Thanks for being able to share yourself, warts and all. It's so insightful, and helps me understand where some of my own character defects come from, too.

]]> By: GentlePath http://aroomofmamasown.com/2010/03/i-told-you-so/comment-page-1/#comment-7074 GentlePath Thu, 11 Mar 2010 12:50:39 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=2729#comment-7074 What a wonderfully insightful anecdote. But the connection between crazymaking and the need to be right struck me like a ton of bricks - and relieved me of yet another bit of guilt. Maybe any human being would need to be right if they'd grown up hearing that they were wrong . . . Pap's just hugging you . . . he loves you . . . not just some broken person like me. What a wonderfully insightful anecdote.

But the connection between crazymaking and the need to be right struck me like a ton of bricks - and relieved me of yet another bit of guilt. Maybe any human being would need to be right if they'd grown up hearing that they were wrong . . . Pap's just hugging you . . . he loves you . . . not just some broken person like me.

]]> By: Syd http://aroomofmamasown.com/2010/03/i-told-you-so/comment-page-1/#comment-7065 Syd Wed, 10 Mar 2010 21:06:31 +0000 http://aroomofmamasown.com/?p=2729#comment-7065 Yes, I know that one well. I was made to feel as if I was the crazy one (which I was). I wrote to you about that before. It is a great manipulation by alcoholics (or ics of any kind). They are never responsible and we think we are. Yes, I know that one well. I was made to feel as if I was the crazy one (which I was). I wrote to you about that before. It is a great manipulation by alcoholics (or ics of any kind). They are never responsible and we think we are.

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