Posts under ‘anxiety’

Fear

Image credit: Photo by
stuant63
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I've been working through the 12 Steps again, more slowly this time than my last time through.  This week, I worked through an exercise where I looked at patterns of compulsive behavior in my life and I was struck (again) by how powerfully my life is dominated by fear [...]

Lullaby

Image credit: Photo by
Big Grey Mare on Flickr
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"Honey?" Mark has been putting the kids to sleep.  I thought he'd fallen asleep with them, but now he pops his head into the living room. "Austen says his stomach hurts and he can't get to sleep.  Can you come take a look and [...]

A Problem Is a Problem

Image credit: Photo by
Esther_G on Flickr
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Eight years ago, in spite of the fact that we were both exhausted by caring for our infant son, I found that my husband Mark was staying up later and later at night. He had to be up at 5 a.m. to get ready for work, [...]

Worry Brain

Image credit: Art by
hellvet2000 on Flickr
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"Worry Brain, your mama's so ugly, she makes onions cry!" I found myself saying after I got off the phone with my husband.  I had to hang up the phone because I'd burst into tears, and now I was trying to beat back the anxiety that was [...]

Nightmares

Image credit: Photo by
samzie2006 on Flickr
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I woke up this morning, muscles clenched like a fist and throat tight with anxiety, wanting to grab my son and never let him go. I crept to where he was sleeping and ran my fingers through his curls, reassuring myself he was there and safe. [...]

Tallying up my Self-Worth

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boxercab on Flickr
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Last Monday I walked through the grocery store feeling like a weight was crushing my chest, a tight lump in my throat the only thing between me and tears. And part of me wanted to self-indulgently sit there on the linoleum floor under the flicker fluorescent [...]

Spontaneity

Image credit: Photo by
indoloony on Flickr
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A few months after I first met Mark in college, we ran into each other in a campus dining hall. As we chatted, he admired my high school class ring. I held my hand out to let him see it more closely, and peering down [...]

Beware of the 8-Year-Old

Image credit: Photo by
codepo8 on Flickr
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Most kids (at least those who grow up in safe, middle class, American neighborhoods) don't see every new face at the front door (from evangelists to pizza delivery guys) as a potential threat.  But Austen is not most kids.  Unless they come bearing an Amazon.com box with [...]

Ellie’s Towel

Image credit: Photo by
limonada on Flickr
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A few years ago, I was visiting my friend Ellie and was a guest in her house for the first time in my life.  I had just taken a shower and was standing in her bathroom, a wet towel in my hand, at a loss for what [...]

What Are You Going to Do Now?

Image credit: Photo by
Frank Peters on Flickr
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I shared in a meeting recently about my fear around my husband's business trips and how that fear is a reminder to me to connect with my Higher Power. After the meeting a newcomer asked me what I'm going to do now: I mean, he's [...]