Image credit: Photo by Bob.Fornal on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons If you had asked me, before Austen was born, if nearly every detail of my life was fixed in routine, I would have said no, and I would have thought that was quite true. After all, I had free will and all that. If [...]
Posts under ‘compulsive behavior’
I Don’t Love You
Image credit: Photo by jessica.garro on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons Most parents hear it at one time or another. Some variation on the universal theme of parent awfulness: "I hate you. I wish you were dead. I don't like you. I'm not going to be your child anymore. I want a new Mommy/Daddy. You're the [...]
A Spoon Is Not a Spoon
Image credit: Photo by skinnylaminx on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons As I write this, I have a cup of tea beside me, and I am trying to get myself to drink it. I'm not hesitating because I don't like tea or because I think it will be unpleasant. I'm hesitating because I'm trying to [...]
Just For Today Challenge: November 24, 2009
Image credit: Photo by catdancing on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons BY-NC 2.0 Last week, I asked you all to join the Just for Today Challenge with me, where we would all change one thing about our lives for just one day. I'll share what I did, and if you did something yourself, either share [...]
Just Say No to Reading
Image credit: Photo by paulbence on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons "Where's the ketchup?" "Don't you remember?" asks Mark, a little exasperated. "We had this conversation," he says as he begins to describe it to me in elaborate details: all the full sentences I said to him in response to what he said to me [...]
Our Disease
Image credit: Photo by 9stitches11stars on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons In the first 12 Step meeting I attended, a group for friends and relatives of sex addicts, I heard repeated references to "our disease." And "our disease" — codependency — supposedly compelled us to engage in codependent behaviors: things like spying on and stalking [...]
The Trappings of Success
Image credit: Art by Rob Sheridan on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons Years ago, before I knew about my husband's sex addiction, one of the things that drew me to him, that I really liked and respected about him, was how he seemed to have broken away from the pattern of addiction and dysfunction in [...]
Codependent Shopping Spree
Image credit: Photo by tomeppy on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons The newborn daughter of a very dear friend of mine recently had heart surgery to correct a congenital defect. Fortunately, the surgery went smoothly, the defect was easy to correct and the baby is doing just fine. Still, it's been a few weeks of [...]
Cyberstalking Syndrome by Proxy
Image credit: Photo by Corie Howell on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons I have spent my share of time cyberstalking the women my husband has acted out with. (Hey, I'm codependent; I'm really, really good at focusing on people who aren't me.) And I'm not alone. Focusing on and obsessing about the activities of acting [...]
In Which I Wish Addiction (and Recovery) on the World
Image credit: Photo by JustinLowery.com on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons This weekend, for the first time in my life, I had the opportunity to hear a sex addict from my husband's recovery group speaking about his experiences. I know my husband's story, about as intimately as anyone else can; in a way, it's my [...]
