Posts under ‘grief’

Haikus for Christmas Long Ago and Far Away

A box marked "fragile"
holds shining memories wrapped
in crumpled paper.
She lights up like a
firefly whenever you're
around, George Bailey.
Once a year. Each year.
They emerge, sparkling,
to be packed away.
The delicate glass,
like breath on a windowpane,
glitters and is gone.
This year, glass soldiers
wait, tissue-wrapped with angels,
in muffled darkness.
I hear your silence
echoing through the carols
louder than church bells.
If the glass shatters,
but [...]

The Man in the Mirror

I roll my eyes as a cluster of neon clad girls buzz, "The way the sidewalk lights up as he walks is so cool! I love that song." Michael Jackson and that stupid Billie Jean video. Cool? Whatever. He's so overrated. I mean, if you wanted to talk about enduring cool, who could [...]

Recovery is Sexy

Image credit: Photo by
Eternal ☼ Sunshine on Flickr
Licensed under Creative Commons

It was raining the night I first kissed my husband. The wind was hissing and howling through the bare branches of the trees, rattling the last of the dead leaves still clinging to their posts. Before we kissed, we twined our hands together [...]

My Kids Deal with Death

Image credit: Photo by
two stout monks on Flickr
Licensed under Creative Commons

My daughter, Janie, found the body. Our pet* had been missing for a while, so at first she shouted to me excitedly. She found him! But when I ran to her, it was clear that he was already gone. She looked [...]

No Answers

Image credit: Detail of a photo by
Carla216 on Flickr
Licensed under Creative Commons

This week, when our family pet went missing and later turned up dead, I did an obsessive imitation of some of my favorite literary detectives; like Sherlock Holmes, I tried to piece together the smallest clues and like Hercule Poirot, I strained the little [...]

Let God What?

Image credit: Photo by
Will Foster on Flickr
Licensed under Creative Commons

I've been giving a lot of thought recently to the 12 Step saying: "Let go and let God." I was talking to a (non-program) friend about those words a few weeks ago and she asked, "What does that mean? Let go and let God? [...]

Can’t Deal

Rough, rough, rough day yesterday.  Had one kid home sick and a family pet passed away.  I cried and screamed more than I have about anything in years (and that's saying something).  I didn't eat all day, hadn't slept enough (between sick kids and pets), didn't have any adult contact and every little thing set [...]

Confessions of a Bad Mother

Image credit: Photo by
Jill Greenseth on Flickr
Licensed under Creative Commons

I have a secret. I have been grieving over my children since, at times, before they were even born. Now that's not the way it's supposed to be, is it? I'm a mama, and mamas are supposed to be joy and love and [...]