It's been a while since I've posted an update about the case of Alex Barton. Alex, who has been diagnosed with Asperger's (a form of autism), was voted out of his kindergarten class last spring after his teacher, Wendy Portillo, became frustrated with his behavior. She decided to discipline him by asking his classmates to state what they didn't like about him and then took a vote on whether or not Alex should be allowed in their classroom. Alex was voted out 14-2. The St. Lucie school board suspended Ms. Portillo for one year without pay, suspended her teaching license and revoked her tenure status. She is currently in the process of appealing this decision.

As for Alex and his family, they are grateful for the support they received and are currently keeping busy forming a chain of connection to other kids on the autism spectrum through The Tie Dye Project.

Alex has tie dyed five shirts and is mailing them out to other children with ASD and related needs. When a child receives a his or her shirt, that child will then make five shirts of their own to send to five other children with autism.

The project still need participants. Teachers are encouraged to take part in this effort as well. If you would like to participate in the Tie Dye Project email your contact information to Melissa Barton at mommyofalex@justiceforalexbarton.com or visit Alex's blog at http://blog.justiceforalexbarton.com/ for more details.

On the particular night that I left the present of a grocery gift card on a stranger's truck, I waited in line for thirty minutes. The store was crowded with holiday shoppers and there were too few cashiers. And the particular line I picked was a disaster. The couple at the front of the line was arguing with the cashier over the sale price of a case of beverages they had purchased. The cashier and the store manager spent at least twenty minutes trying to explain to the couple that they had indeed been charged the correct price, and had misunderstood the sale. The couple wouldn't give in, the manager and cashier (for some reason) decided not to close the transaction and talk to the couple at the customer service desk, but to conduct the negotiation there at the checkstand, while the line ballooned.

To move to another line was risky. There were only two other cashiers and each of their lines stretched half the length of the store. The couple in front of me was livid. They had two children, who were being extraordinarily patient, but still occasionally pulling candy off the rack or asking if it was time to go yet. They had meat that was thawing and ice cream that was melting. Periodically, they'd interrupt the store manager or the couple in front of them to berate them. And they had a point in both cases, the whole situation seemed to be unnecessarily delaying an already out-of-control grocery trip.

But I was in kind mode. I tried to think of something to do to entertain the two kids, but amazingly, my magical mama purse was somehow devoid of entertainments. I decided to be kind to the parents by sympathizing with them. I decided to be kind to the store manager by not yelling at him for not moving to the next transaction. I decided to be kind to the couple at the front of the line by not yelling at them for not understanding math. I decided to be kind to the other people in the store by remaining in this uselessly stuck line, making it appear longer, so they'd get in some other line that was actually moving. After all, I didn't have any kids with me, I didn't have anyplace to go, I had the luxury of treating a grocery store line like a mini-vacation, while others didn't. And with kindness radiating out of me, I calmly looked at magazines and smiled at the kids. It probably would have been kind of me to purchase a magazine, instead of reading them for free, but they were all so horrifically bad I thought that would go beyond kindness into martyrdom.

Today, Question posted to say she was trying to decide on a word to focus on in the new year. I thought about the calmness I felt during the weeks of waving pedestrians on in front of me, letting other cars cut in front of me, holding doors open and just generally slowing down and thinking about what small kindnesses I could do for others. And I thought about the shame and disappointment I felt about resolutions I had made at the dawn of a new year in year's past. And I decided that I like the idea of an intention much more than a resolution. So, I'm going to pick a word too. I haven't quite decided what it is yet, but I'll let you know when I do. What about you?

Animal shelter employee? Yep, you. You got a call from a woman looking to find someone to take care of a baby squirrel (or bird, I do those too) that had fallen out of its nest. Well, I was the one who called and then brought that squirrel in wrapped warmly in a dishtowel. And homeless guy, the one who approached a woman for change and was handed a hot vegetarian dinner for your trouble? Um, the woman handing you that meal was me. And homeless guy who was hanging out outside the grocery store? I'm the one who took the healthy snacks I bought for my kids out of my grocery bag and gave them to you instead. And, you, lady with two children under age 3 at the airport? I'm the one who took your bags off the carousel, loaded them onto a cart and helped you find ground transportation. And old bag lady who was going through my trash? All I can say is: I'm sorry I didn't get back out with your sandwich before you left.

So, that's me. I'm Ms. Act of Kindness USA. That's just how heathen liberal hippies like me roll.

But when Mantra tagged me, giving the example of buying coffee for the person behind her in the drive-thru, I thought, "What am I going to do?" My acts of kindness are rarely planned but they aren't exactly random; they're targeted at those I perceive to be needy and deserving. I don't help (and even actively thwart when I can) people who drive BMW's. I'm much more likely to help you if you are poor or female or non-white or a non-native English speaker. And, of course, my mind started spinning on how I could use this tag to help one of the kinds of people I'm naturally inclined to help anyway. When I realized this, I stopped myself and decided that this time I was going to plan an act of kindness, rather than waiting for a spontaneous moment to drop into my lap, and I was not going to limit my semi-random selection of a target to those most in need.

Tonight, I decided I was going to buy a grocery gift card and put it on whatever vehicle happened to be parked closest to me on the left when I exited the store. I wasn't going to look for the crappiest car in the lot or check for a baby seat or any of the things I was inclined to do. I was going to let the luck of the parking lot decide. And if it was a BMW, well, so be it. I'd view it as some sort of penance to them for all the times I've driven slowly in front of BMWs on purpose and laughed. I decided to do it secretly and anonymously: no chance for the good feeling of being thanked or the awkward one of being turned down. (Although I have to admit, it made me feel much more creepy and guilty and stalker-like than my typical act of goodwill.)

So, guy in a white pickup truck, I hope you were able to get yourself a little treat, or a little something you needed. I was kind of hoping you were the store manager, because wow, did he look like he was having a rough night. But whether or no, peace on earth, goodwill toward pickup trucks and all that to you! Enjoy. And from now on I think I'll just stick to feeding addicts and taking care of children and animals; it's what I do best.

Finally, to all of you who are reading this, if Mantra didn't get to you first, consider yourself tagged. Go do something kind, something you wouldn't do otherwise for someone you wouldn't otherwise do it for. And tell me about it. I'd love to hear how you spread the love.