Posts under ‘recovery’

Golden Years

Image credit: Photo by
Travis Jon Allison on Flickr
Licensed under Creative Commons

"I don't like Agnes much," said my mother, "She's definitely no Aunt Gerty.  But it's because Gerty was so wonderful that I think Uncle Fred is marrying Agnes."
"What do you mean?" I asked.  Uncle Fred and Aunt Gerty had been married over fifty years [...]

Tiger Woods: Destination Unknown

Image credit: Photo by
Misserion on Flickr
Licensed under Creative Commons

I finally got around to watching the Tiger Woods apology speech, and I have to admit, I was impressed.  As a New York Times article pointed out, even without explicitly saying the words "sex addiction" or "12 Step" the speech clearly implied both. In a way it [...]

Different Strokes

Image credit: Photo by
Darwin Bell on Flickr
Licensed under Creative Commons

My husband Mark, I have to admit it, hates fish. And people fish evangelize him all the time. I used to too, in my pre-vegetarian days, when a trip to the aquarium would make me hungry. The problem, you see, is never that [...]

How to Change Anyone!

I was browsing around Target the other day, when I came across the most fabulous book I have seen in a long, long time: How to Change Someone You Love: Four Steps to Help You Help Them.  I laughed the kind of laugh that ought to have sent flocks of birds scattering in alarm.  Instead [...]

Zen and the Art of Perfectionism

Image credit: Photo by
h.koppdelaney on Flickr
Licensed under Creative Commons

Last week, I was sitting cross-legged on my plump little black cushion on the floor of the Zendo I visit regularly and listening to a talk about cleaning incense burners.  And as I listened, the very deep and profound thought that came to me was, "I seriously [...]

Martin Luther King Jr. and Recovery

Image credit: Photo by
*_Abhi_* on Flickr
Licensed under Creative Commons

I was reading over some of the words of Martin Luther King Jr. today, and came across some that reminded me very much of something I used to repeat to myself and my husband in the wake of disclosure of his sex addiction: "There can be no [...]

Starbucks

Image credit: Photo by
brownpau on Flickr
Licensed under Creative Commons

Just days before I discovered my husband Mark's sex addiction, we were shopping in Target, when we passed a young woman.  "Hi, Mark!" she chimed, smiling brightly.  Then she turned to her shopping companion, a man who was glowering at Mark, and said, "Jimmy, this is my [...]

Oprah, Dr. Drew and Me

Image credit: Photo by
Thomas Hawk on Flickr
Licensed under Creative Commons

Several people have asked me if I watched Oprah's show on sex addiction last Monday.  The answer is "sort of."  I don't watch Oprah much, and apparently Oprah likes it that way.  I missed episode, and while there are clips on YouTube, I can't seem to [...]

Asking for Help

Image credit: Photo by
Jose Téllez on Flickr
Licensed under Creative Commons

You know why I hate the word codependent?  (And although I have taken on that label, I still truly do.)  It has the word "dependent" right there in the word.  Weak, wussy little "dependent."  It practically whines at you: "I'm so helpless.  I can't do anything [...]

Not Alone

Image credit: Photo by
Viqi French
Licensed under Creative Commons

My 12 Step group had some difficulty recently around a reading that listed some of the behaviors partners of sex addicts might have in common.  Many of the women in the group found it triggering, because they felt the list of characteristics implied there was something wrong with [...]