Image credit: Photo by brownpau on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons Just days before I discovered my husband Mark's sex addiction, we were shopping in Target, when we passed a young woman. "Hi, Mark!" she chimed, smiling brightly. Then she turned to her shopping companion, a man who was glowering at Mark, and said, "Jimmy, [...]
Posts under ‘The Second Road’
My Muse
Image credit: Photo by Ape Lad on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons "You know," joked my husband Mark, "I think you ought to be paying me royalties. You wouldn't have anything to write about without me..." "I know. It's true. That's the sad life of a codependent. My problem is being all wrapped up in [...]
The Grocery Store Gamut
Image credit: Photo by blackbiscuits on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons One day, early in his recovery work around sex addiction, Mark and I were standing in line at the grocery store, when I commented on a headline on one of the news magazines. "I can't look," Mark said. "What?" "It's not good for me. [...]
Killing Me Softly
Image credit: Photo by Estrella Esteve on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons "I can't hear this song without thinking of you," I said to Mark as The Cure's "Just Like Heaven" came on my music mix a few days ago. It reminded me of falling in love with him in college: how he made me [...]
Out of the Mouths of Babes
Image credit: Photo by Christaface on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons A few days ago, my daughter Janie walked into the kitchen, which my frantic holiday baking had turned into an indoor winter wonderland, covered in soft mounds of flour and dustings of sparkling sugar. "What are you making, Mama?" she asked. "A pie for [...]
A Very Codependent Christmas
Image credit: Photo by Jon Curnow on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons Last night my husband Mark and I stayed up past midnight finalizing the details of our Christmas budget and to do list. We divided up the errands and agreed on which of us would buy for whom and how much money we would [...]
Acting As If
Image credit: Photo by Alli' Cat' on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons Someone I grew up with drank (still drinks) a lot. And over the years, I've struggled with her alcohol use. Year after year, the incidents around her drinking have piled up. There was the time she was laid off and spent the next [...]
The Long-Awaited Tiger Woods Post
Image credit: Photo by Stefano A on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons "Is Tiger Woods a sex addict?" "What do you think about Tiger?" "Aren't you going to write about Tiger Woods?" The questions have been peppering my inbox, but I've been avoiding the topic. On the one hand, I love a good celebrity sex [...]
Orchid Children
Image credit: Photo by Te55 on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons One thing most addicts have in common is a history of childhood abuse or neglect. According to research by sex addiction expert Patrick Carnes, 81% of sex addicts were sexually abused as children and 97% were physically and/or emotionally abused or neglected. But quote [...]
Oprah, Dr. Drew and Me
Image credit: Photo by Thomas Hawk on Flickr Licensed under Creative Commons Several people have asked me if I watched Oprah's show on sex addiction last Monday. The answer is "sort of." I don't watch Oprah much, and apparently Oprah likes it that way. I missed episode, and while there are clips on YouTube, I [...]
